BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence I Need Help!

My boyfried (baby's Daddy) assults me with his words and his actions. He tells me that he is going to spend the weekend with us and then he comes up with excuses and bails on us leaving my baby boy and I sitting here waiting for hours only for him to show up HOURS after he said he would drunk and begging me for sex.

I think I am mentally unstable because of all the things he has pulled and all of the hurt he has given. When I went to the hospital to have my baby he came and stayed until the baby was deivered, but I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days and during that time he took my car and partyed and picked up other girls. I am so hurt and cannot get it outta my head, that and so many other things that he did to me while I was pregnant and still.

I have lent him lots of money, I pay bills for him because they are on my credit. I am loosing it. I scheduled to see a councelor.

I think it came to a head yesterday, he left me at home alone with my Boo and called me several times from the bar phone saying nasty things so I called the bar and the police. The police showed up blamed me and sent me to the hospital for evalution. Now all I can do is cry. I want us to work but he doesnt seem to see what he does is wrong. What should I do?

Obviously he has no respect for you or your son. You have already taken a gigantic step by admitting that there is something wrong with what he is doing to you, not to mention your son. I would seriosly go after him for child support. I am assuming you aren't married because you didn't refer to him as "husband". If he doesn't live with you, don't answer the door. Get to court, get to child support and if worse comes to worse, get a restraining order. A lot of men will "go into hiding" when child support is ordered to be paid. If the bills are on your credit (such as a cell phone) Have it turned off. Call and tell them you lost the phone or tell them you broke up with the person, see if they will cancel it. If they make you pay it, then go ahead and pay on it but have the phone shut off. Is he driving a car that is in your name? Tell the dealership or cops that you didn't give him permission to drive it and you want it back. Maybe I am just jaded. I wouldn't put up with a man playing tug-a-war with my emotions or my credit or my baby. It seems he sees you for a piece of you know what because he knows you will give in. Cut him off.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation! I was once in a tough one about a year or so ago... and let me tell you, regardless of what people say, it is always easier said than done to get out of an abusive relationship. I think that it takes the right time for a person to realize that this is enough. From my own experience, I personally (and strongly) believe that you would be better off without this man. It sounds like he is only dragging you down. Furthermore, there is absolutely no respect in this relationship. Especially from a man that runs around on his child's mother. I know that it is hard at first to break away, but it really does get better and soon after, you will say to yourself, "Why didn't I do this sooner?" I wish you the best of luck and I know you will do the right thing.

I think he really beleives that he has done nothing and that it is all me.

He took my son last night and now he is telling me that he has no money and needs clothes and diapers. He had money yesterday when he was bar hopping and calling me names. I refused to give him anything but I am feeling bad for my son.

I am not a week person and I guess that is why so many people think I am crazy but I will not stand still and give in. I just want someone to understand I am so sad because I cant give my baby boy my best because of his father. I cant stop crying.

I dont want to do a restaining order because in the back of my mind I can hear the judge saying no its your fault. And if I did get one that would be his excuse for not paying me back what he owes me and not seeing his son. The man is a pig. I dont want child support because that would be a headache trying to collect from him.

Take back control. Once you do it is a lot easier. It is hard to make that first step and it is even harder to keep taking steps, remember that tomorrow will come and all that matters is your child. You don't want him to be that way to another women when he grows up, so get him away from daddy.

You have to want a better life and you have to want to take control of it. If you have somewhere to go and stay for support for awhile, take it. Stay away for a month and you'll be able to take control back again, it's hard to get through that month or two but once you do you won't look back.