BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Beware of Religious Advice

I would LOVE to witness a Hindu wedding. I work with 2 gentlemen who are from India and when they found I was Buddhist, we were all instantly friends lol They aren't Buddhist though but they have changed their attitudes about me. One showed me pictures from his daughters recent wedding. Oh my, how gorgeous the dress of the people and seeing parts of the ceremony.

Hindu weddings are very elaborate and great fun. They go on for about 5-7 days.

Well first of all. no, God isnt fond of divorce. thats a given. But there is room given for divorce, even in the bible in the cases of domestic violence and adultery.
If the problems are un- resolvable, it is perfectly biblical to get a divorce.

And I agree.whoever wrote that was an abusive [censored] -or a complete fool.
Oh - and its on the internet. goodness knows if you have faith in everything you read on the net then you are a fool yourself. I just hope that everyone thats ran across that tripe has enough sense to realize that God doesn't expect you to just take it and live through it. And he doesn't tolerate sin - why would he expect anyone else to?
God is a god of justice and of love - living through that and standing by our man is not even sane - certainly not Just and there is no love in those actions.

I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist and honestly that sounds like something they would write.

In my own experience I have heard of many cases where a man sexually abusing children was swept under the carpet so the name of the church would not be held up to scrutiny.

IN MY OPINION...Christianity is a belief system driven by a belief that the man is superior and therefore transgressions that SHOULD be unforgiveable...are not.

AND if your a Christian and take exception to this, please save your time because I DO know the Bible exceptionally well, my Father was a minister so if you tell me you take the Bible literally, then that is what the Bible says AND I can quote chapter and verse to support that.

I choose NOT to participate in such a patriarchal group AND I will NOT raise my daughter to believe that its ok to treat women as second class citizens.

SDAs will also tell you that IF you can't save your marriage, you can divorce but you may NEVER remarry, even if your husband was at fault for beating you, abusing the children, no matter the reason.

GOD help the man that trys something like that in my life...and he better hope the police get him before I do.

That sounds like a bastar# I mean paster i had at one time. never get a divorce make lots of excuses for husbands bad behavior and oh yeah never for get it is ALWAYS the wife's fault! and if the wife was a better mother and wife he would be a better man!!

I stopped going to church when the guy told my friend, who was in the hospital because the husband beat her, that it was her fault and she should repent and beg God for His forgiveness and to stop being a baby and running to the hospital everytime she bumped her head!

[censored]!!! no Christian no Christlike ness in any of that $#!T!!!
and I have been a christian for 27 yrs so.....believe me when I say any bastar@ I mean preacher who spouts that [censored] aint a christian in any sense of the word!!!

When I was in an abusive 'relationship' and getting raped, my priest told me that it was my fault and if I were a true christian, I would have died before letting that happen.

I agree that God hates divorce, its in the bible.
But, if your husband abuses you, if he does not love and respect you (and that he should love and respect you is also in the bible), then WHO is making the divorce? And are you obliged to risk your life and stay in a marriage that HE is breaking? Even if your church helps him to break this marriage by doing NOTHING to stop him? Is't such a church responsible of this divorce too?
So I think that if a pastor says you must stay with your husband, he is at the same time obliged to take care of your safety. At least to try to stop your husband.
(excuse me if my english is not very well)
amma

i agree with beware of reliigious advice. the person, can't remember, who posted, that said she had been a member of latter day saints, the catholic church has a horrible track record of oppressing women and justifying it. the roman catholic church
has been known to rationalize, justify, and minmimize the abuse and oppression of women, add nauseum. as far as the bible, i've heard so many people cherry pick, be self serving, distorting, misleading, misconstrueing the bible, etc. i've seen and heard many devout religious people, be very oppressive, harsh, unkind, hostile, close minded, judgemental, oppressive, to anyone who thought, felt, believed, acted different. but then even non-religious people i've met have been harsh, unkind, hostile, oppressive, cruel, close minded, self serving, judgemental, self absorbed, grandiose, vain. both may be unobservant, clueless, arrogant, entitled, and will twist, mislead, lie, misconstrue sometimes, deliberately and sometimes out of ignorance and sometimes just because the person(s) is incapable of understanding.
my own mother has watched a commercial during which a mother is making a cup of tea or coffee for herself and her daughter is imitating her every move, mistakes and all. i got it. my therapist, who is a mother of 5, got it, and my mother did not "get" it. understand it. my mother thought the girl did it deliberately, kids imitate parents, watch what you do as well as listen to what you say. when they get older and start talking to therapists, that's when the truth comes out. many parents don't walk the walk, but just talk the talk. even people who work in the mental health field are guilty of that same stuff.
even therapists can power trip, play manipulative, abusive, self serving head games at the expense of a client.
try reading, phyllis cheslers 1972 and 2005 editions of "women and madness". what she research and wrote about in both editions has been rampant. it's not just a "few bad apples" as male psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. claim. when I've been a female psych patient, i've still been expected to understand and be sensitive,to, supportive of, accommodating to,emotionally supportive of abusive, aggressive, self serving men, abusive, aggressive male patients, abusive, narcisstic father, and abusive, self serving, narcisstic brother, who have all been abusive, trivialized my situation, justified their abuse of me, "boys will be boys", he's "only human". [censored]. its bullshit, self serving lies, delusions, patronizing on men's parts. they justify and mimimize their upside down, backwards, self serving "facts" "logic". i'm not beautiful, not vain and still have gone through non stop sexual harrassment and been blamed by male aides, male staff,both licensed and unlicensed: female staff, both licensed and unlicesensed; by my mother, by my father, by my brother, etc., for mens' sexual harrassment, aggression, manipulation, lies.
the military doesn't tel the public at lrge, nor does it tell the young female recruits the truth about what they will go through as officers or as enlisted personnell in the any of all 5
branches, coast guard, air force, army, or marines.
women serving still have to worry about being date rAPED BY THEIR PWN COUNTRYMEN, excuse me, as well as the enemy. women serving in iraq, are dying of dehydration, those aren't included in the combat statistics. many women don't drink enough water so they won't have to go to the bathroom during the night, alone.
because they are often assaulted and or raped by their own countrymen as well as the enemy. i've read women post on these and other websites about their experiences in the military, and even the women will trivialize, minimize, discount what these women are posting. both genders will say "so what", "suck it up", say that those women don't represent what other women go through in the military. that it's them. [censored]!!!
women are told to stick with other females for protection. well guess what, a woman may not always have a female buddy to go with, especially in a still male dominated bastion as the military always has been. even if she does, one woman may not support or understand another woman, if she is from a different part of the country, different religion, or of a different class.
so many women in the miltary told me of being raped, i couldn't do anything. i had no power and have never had power. i haave an education, a b.s. in psychology. i've always been in the lower working classes, even with my education, and awareness.
even women, exploit, use, backstab, lie to other women, use other women, batter other women, distort, mislead, can be narcisstic, clueless, arrogant, grandiose,entitled. my own mother has done a lot of that to me. if your own mother does it to you, who can you trust?

navy is thw fifth armed service

I have said this soooo many times. I think that is why I have such bad trust issues with women. The minute my brother was born and my sister died (within a span of a year) my mother started abusing me. My brother was sick when he was born. He had jaundice and other problems and so did she. They both almost died in the hospital. Then she got pregnant again within 3 months of having my brother but my sister only lived for a day. My brother was and still is the baby. It doesn't matter what he does, she has an excuse for him. He has 3 kids he never even tries to see. The courst have to ride him to get his child support. He says he is a recovering drug addict but yet he still smokes pot. In my mothers eyes, he is an angel. Yet I went through abuse with my ex, i have lived in a homeless shelter in the worse part of Cincinnati while going to college, working, and putting food on my kids' table, i went to work with broken ribs, broken nose, hiding makeup over black eyes, going hungry so my kids had food, but last time I talked to her she called child services on my because Wesley, my son, wet his pants while he was at school and I was at the grocery store so I didn't get the call to come get him, she did. I was a horrible mother who wasn't there for her kid, but my brother hasn't seen his oldest 2 kids in almost 5 years and the other one in almost 2 years. I don't understand why my mother hates me so much. I am over it now and I haven't spoken to her in 3 years. I couldn't allow her to abuse me anymore. ANd like you said, if you can't trust your own mother, who can you trust?