BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Child substitutes...

I mush over dogs, and certain other animals. Never children. They just don't inspire that sort of reaction in me! I'd rather play with a dog over a child. I can get a lot more response out of a dog, usually!

Cindy

I turn to mush over quadrupeds, too. What charm has any baby over a shiny-coated, friendly, curious, playful dog, cat, bunny, rodent, etc? I don't think any human has ever elicited the "aaaaww" type reactions from me my Beastie earns everyday.

Terrence - I agree - I've never crossed the road to pat a child but have often made the effort to pat a cat - I'm careful with dogs after being attacked by one many years ago - I love dogs but don't feel as confident around dogs I don't know....
I was reading through the posts - I had missed the last couple of pages and noticed someone mention that they preferred to play with fluffy animals rather than dolls as a child - it got me thinking whether our childhood preferences are a clue to our future attitudes...
I have a curious mind and my parents were often frustrated by my determined need to find out how things worked - I think too much about things, I'm sure...it can be exhausting.
My mother tells me that she was very embarrassed when my grandmother gave me a new doll for my 3rd birthday - I removed the doll's head to work out why her eyes closed when she was horizontal - once satisfied - I discarded the doll and went back to my blocks. My grandmother was appalled...
Dolls that did nothing were thrown aside without a second thought - I liked things that moved and later, things that challenged the mind - like Leggo and board games.
I went to a girls school and we were required to take Mothercraft in Form 3 - I was chatting to a friend during the class while my doll (baby) was floating face down in the bath - the teacher pointed out my inattention had led to disaster. I simply drained the water out through the dolls mouth and said, "No, it's fine, Mrs Murphy" - needless to say, I didn't get away with it.
I remember my profound boredom during those classes. The "conditioning" certainly irked me - the suggestion that we were all baby bound but more than that, it was my total lack of interest in the whole business.

Deborah, I have forced myself to stay at my desk all Sunday afternoon to complete a whole lot of tedious "chores", but I keep finding myself flicking over to the forum by way of procrastination. I have to say, this provided me with much mirth and entertainment. I love it when I meet kids who are like you were as a kid.

I haven't admitted this to many people, but I had a frightful nightmare one night in my 20's when I was fairly recently married to my first husband. The dream went like this (I feel I might be safe admitting it to you guys): In the opening scene I was talking to my mother on the phone. She suddenly said "So how's the baby?". I paused and then said "Fine" but inside I was thinking "Oh my God, I forgot I had a baby!". I hung up and ran into our spare bedroom and the baby was dead because I had completely forgotten it was there and I hadn't fed it or anything. I remember thinking "how am I ever going to tell anyone what I did?". That dream really freaked me out - it was very disturbing. I woke up in a sweat. I still remember it 15 years later. Of course the baby in the dream was just representing something else, but dreaming it was enough to make ANYONE childfree. The thing is, I am prone to forgetting things. Maybe I'd be the sort of parent who left my kid at the service station, like in Little Miss Sunshine. I guess a baby wouldn't really let you forget to feed it.

Hi FeeBee, I'm doing the same thing - finishing a report and going back and forth to the forums. It's wonderful company!
Dreams are interesting...some people say they tap into our fears and anxieties. I know I often dream that I've forgotten an exam - it might be because my life is ruled by deadlines.
Not sure about your dream - maybe, anxiety/worry about responsibility.
My parents had 5 kids - we left my 3 year old brother at an aunt's home - he was the quiet brother - we realized he was missing pretty quickly - when we got back to Auntie Dot's home he was still happily playing in the cubby house - so it does happen.

I think sometimes people with kids think the CF are a bit "over the top" (some might even say eccentric)with their pets - we all know the lady with 16 cats and the people that carry around little dogs with crystal encrusted collars.
If these people happen to be CF the assumption is often made that we're all like that....or lean that way.
My sister is a vet - she says all sorts of people could be called "over the top" - some are CF, others have kids, some have grown families - it's more a question of personality.
Some of her patients get flowers with notes from Mummy & Daddy, other clients visit their pets 3 or 4 times a day, some send hampers - some may regard the owners as "over the top" - others will say they just really love their pets.
My sister says she doesn't mind people being "over the top" - that it's always preferable to the irresponsible owner.

Yes, I feel the same way. Sometimes, too, when I have a full-on day at the office, every now and then it's nice to take a breather and see what's happening on the forum. Fortunately at my office I am not automatically logged in and I always seem to have forgotten my password, so it disciplines me from posting :-)

I just love this forum - it's like daily inspiration and reassurance for me!

I think that is a label, almost like people with pets can't handle kids. Believe it or not, I never heard that term before now.

I have two dogs that I adore. I thank God everytime I go to a family function with screaming kids, that I chose to have none.

I am thankful for this forum. Many times people look at you like there is something wrong with you for not having kids.

What is really sad about the human race is that there is this tendancy to try and force everyone into a mold that may or may not fit.

Does it make others insecure about their own choices to see people who live in a different way, succeed and be happy? I don't know. Do they need reinforcement by convincing others to do the same, to follow along? I get that alot from people because I am a single Mom and have chosen to stay that way. There always seems to be this drive that I NEED to find a man. Well I don't actually NEED to find a man, I have a guy who mows my lawn and thats the only human man I need at the moment. Of course I have my furry men, my three cats.

The hardest thing is to travel the path less followed. We all want reassurances that what we did was right. I think that is human nature. Because then our decisions become a bit easier to swallow. But it's the same for those with kids or those who choose to live without them. We gravitate to those in the same predicament as we. Humans are like water. We follow the path of least resistance.

Sometimes, however, the reassurances are a bit lacking ! And that is when it gets tough. We just have to dig deeper into ourselves and find what makes us happy. No easy task, but that is the true strength of an individual.

Lisa....as far as your lawn is concerned....I bet it looks great!