BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why aren't parents honest about their experience?

OMG. Funny, but how possible is this? Very !!!!

But what about this commercial? The father just stands there like a nimrod and doesn't do anything. I guess the point is that he didn't really think about what it meant to have a child, but what's a parent supposed to do in that situation? I would think you should leave the store at some point, but man, that would suck if you needed food for dinner and couldn't even function enough to get through the store. You can't leave kids in the car anymore by themselves. You certainly don't want to spank them in public. You can bribe them I suppose, but then they become spoiled. Can you gag and straight jacket them?

I guess I should pose this question in a parenting forum, but you guys always know so much about how to parent (ha ha).

If I were the guy, I would give the kid his sweets (just to avoid further embarassment and aggravation), go home and say "Honey, we have a problem."

Ooh, but unfortunately that is exactly the WRONG thing to do, that just teaches the kid that if he screams loud enough and long enough, he'll get what he wants. It's reinforcement. And why is it "Honey's" problem? The dad can deal with it, if he wanted to. Just drag that kid out of there and take him home, strip down his room of everything he values and stick him in there for a month. Of course, a kid of that age (in the commercial) has been allowed to do this before, if the parents started at a young age not allowing that behavior, it wouldn't even occur to him at that age.

Cindy

I wasn't saying it's "Honey's" problem at all. I was saying "We" have a problem. But I agree, I'm too passive sometimes, too non-confrontational. That's why I thought it'd be better to deal with the problem at home rather than make a scene. The key is, as you have pointed out, is early intervention. And I would never let the problem get that far ....

I know that I am probably veering off the path that the posts on this thread have taken recently but I was looking back over some of the very early posts on this forum and I came across one called "newbie with kid" - its on page 95 or thereabouts. That lady was very honest about her experience as a parent. I would love to know how things worked out for her. I also noticed that there were alot of "posters" back then who don't seem to be around now. It would be very interesting to know if they are still CF particularly those who said they were undecided or those whose SO wanted children and they didn't. Maybe we'll never know. I'm going to my husbands god child's christening this coming weekend. She is his brother's second child. There will be alot of in laws, outlaws and extended family there all of whom have children - we live in Ireland- we are the only CF'ers in the family - so no doubt I'll have to endure some knowing looks and snide comments including the usual ones "you've lots of time yet" or my favourite " you'll change your mind when your'er older" - I'm 34!!! No doubt they will make me feel like we are outside "the club".

Good luck with the family Becki. I know how hard it is leading up to the big event, dreading the inevitable.

I have a lot of young nieces and younger female cousins, and I am one of the ONLY CF adult women in our large family. My uncle recently remarried an awesome woman who is CF (I think...I've never talked about it with her and there were rumors circulating among the gossipers that she wanted a baby, but I'm guessing she may have chosen not to, because she has a fantastic career and stepkids now). But that's on my side of the family, and there are no other CF women on my husband's side but me.

Anyway, when I'm around family and having those insecure feelings about being CF, I started trying to remind myself that for all these young girls I am the closest example they have of a CF woman, and maybe one or more of them will be interested in taking that path. Or, maybe they will be CF more by circumstances like me, and then it could be even more important for them to have me to talk to about it if they need to. So, maybe it will help to try and think of yourself as a role model and great example of how a woman can be a complete, fulfilled person even if they don't have kids. Think of how we look up to women in our lives who showed us that example, and we can do it for people too!

that is actually a really good way to look at those situations frieda. You can almost gather strength from your belief that you are a complete person even though you do not and will not have kids and that life is complete as it is. I'll bear it in mind next weekend and keep you posted.

A friend of mine who is 49 adopted a baby about 1 1/2 years ago (her first baby). About 6 months after the adoption she called me sounding frantic with anger and frustration babbling about the baby and her husband which ended with her yelling, "Don't have kids!"
Case closed.

Here is the link to the post that Becki refers to. BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!