BellaOnline Forums News and Politics Human Rights should same sex couples be abll to adopt?

The complication with polygamist marriages, open relationships, polyamoury and polyandry is - that at one point or another - one member of the arrangement grows dissatisfied.
I watched a very serious and well-researched programme about 6 months ago, about polyamory. They interviewed and closely followed seven different groups of people who had decided to enter into polyamorous relationships, for a whole year. Without exception, discord had arisen somewhere. Jealousy, resentment,and a general state of malaise or dissatisfaction was evident , to one degree or another in every single case.
One man admitted, finally, that he exercised his right, as per their agreement, to have more than one partner other than his 'legal' wife, but forbade her from doing the same. So this, in effect, was bigamy, or having a mistress, rather than polyamoury, as they had both initially insisted it was.
In another situation, where a woman had two partners (very different in temperament and looks)it turned out that although they all lived under the same roof, the two guys hated each other. One of them tried to cultivate a relationship with another woman - and ended up leaving, because he realised it was all a sham for him....
The programme concluded that if relationships like this are to survive, and eventually become accepted, Human Beings will have to undergo a radical change in the way they perceive sex, marriage and fidelity.
'Traditional' values and prejudices are still very strong, and an evolutionary metamorphosis may be required before these kinds of relationships can ever survive in the long-term, let alone introducing children - naturally or adopted - into them.

And of course, this never happens with heterosexual, monogamous couples.

What is the divorce rate now - over 50 %?





Polyamorists, please weigh in here.

Personally, I do not think man (that is, mankind - women inclusive) are by nature monogamous. Nothing in our genetic predisposition suggests anything other than a want - dare I say /need/ for variety.

Interestingly enough, you and I had a previous discussion on the merits of Matriarchy and the Mosu. Synchronously, most matriarchal societies are decidedly polyamorous.


That's rather unfair. Not entirely unsurprising either.

I think it's a sort of 'do as I say, not as I do' mentality. I'm still holding my opinion as regards nature, in any event.



Very obviously so. And I may argue that it is more natural to be attracted to multiple partners, but this may not be in the best interests of society - my verdict is still out on that, largely due to honesty issues and such.

Do research the Mosu though. Their social structure has worked quite well for centuries.

That's the one where the women take the active role in choosing the men they want to sleep with then sending them back home to their mothers in the morning. Women are the tribal heads and the children are raised with the mothers - the men as I recall all share the duties and roles of fathers to all children. Children are never role-dependent on who biologically concieved them in that sense.

Not an entirely bad thing, when you think about it.

With regards to 'single sex couples being fantastic parents' - is this not more akin due to the individuals they are as opposed to the fact that they are Gay?

Or did I miss something somewhere where being sexually aligned in a particular way makes you more virtuous and capable than all other persuasions?

Lisbeth, I remember our discussion of old. I am entirely in agreement with you. This was in fact the point of my post. And if indeed, single-partner heterosexual couples are messing it up, it denotes a social inherent nature that we just haven't cracked it. I think people just don't know what they want. Or rather, perhaps they do, but Morally, Religiously, Socially - I think we're still stuck in the dark ages! We're a sorry, confused messed up bunch, really!!


Precisely! And isn't that the way it's been ever since Eve took the apple and Adam said 'she made me do it!'?? whadda jerk! *giggle*


Again, I'm in complete agreement with you. I feel very much the same way.


Where do I sign up.....?

Why should that even be an issue?

I had 4 children there father was never there 4 them, never did things with them, and beat us often. my kids had a father and a mother. did that make it a balanced family for them NO. I met my girlfriend when i was raising my grandson, we did every thing together, and went every where to gether she came to parents meetings at his school now he was in a stable home. with a gay grandmother and her girlfriend, he is doing well and is attending college.

Which only underscores my initial assessment in my first reply:

"Where it's simply a question of love and integrity, it would be insulting to assume that sexual persuasion has anything at all to do with that."

Congratulations on a fine job at the central issue of the wellbeingness of children: Providing Love.

Love and caring and providing should be the basis for when children are adopted. My parents got divorced when I was in 4th grade but they both loved me and still to this day love me regardless that I am a lesbian. As long as your parents love and cheerish and care for you it shouldn't matter if you have a mom and dad or two moms or two dads.

Dead on Lorel!

Love is love, and there are too many kids that need it. There are so many stories of child abuse and babies being thrown away (literally). How can that be better than being loved by anybody?

And kids are gonna be cruel - they'll find a reason. My 10 yr old daughter came home in tears one day because some boys were teasing her and saying she was "fat and ugly". You can see the child's spine, so this os obvisouly not true. But the boys were being cruel, and this got to her.

Ok, I was adopted so let me put a spin on this from my view point.
Yes, it's important that children should be loved and all and be in a loving home, but here's the issue.
To many times, people take a child into their homes whether loving or not and try to manipulate that child into being the way that the parents are and don't tell me that it doesn't happen. It does.
A kid can get just as messed up in a heterosexual family as it could in a gay family. It's bad enough when kids walk in on mom and dad when they are little. How do you explain it when it's mom on mom or dad on dad, and don't call me a gay basher because I have many gay friends that are men, and I have no problem with their lifestyle, but just stating the obvious. Parents, no matter who they are tend to pressure a child no matter the age into accepting their ways of things and not allowing that child to be a free thinker.

Is it no freakin wonder that everyone in this world is screwed up. POINT MADE