BellaOnline Forums Family Single Parents Patience is not one of my virtues

I'm a single mom with an 18 month old. I have very little patience and I find myself getting frustrated with him, short tempered or always telling him no-no. I know this is not good for his development, but a lot of the times I feel over-whelmed trying to do everything or anything for that matter. I see traits starting to come out in his personality, he gets mad and yells or throws stuff and I am not sure if this is just typical behavior or is he mimicing me?

Somedays I just want to crawl into bed and cover my head and sleep it all away. To top it off, I am currently in the process of ending a second chance with my ex...the baby's daddy.

I love him my little guy so much and I want to do all the thing he wants to do like color, play blocks, or go for walks, but most of the time I just don't have the energy. I feel like my mind is full of my own selfish thoughts that I don't have room for any somedays.

I don't even know what I am trying to say.

Lonley, I hear ya. I was a single mom of 3. No matter what my feelings were reflected on my kids. your stress.lack off sleep,and your signs of depression, are all gonna effect your baby. When your going through some thing in your life,good or bad your baby goes through it with you. can you get some help through psychological counseling, and maybe an anti depression medication. good luck to you and your son

I remember feeling like that at times when my daughter was young. She got to a certain age where she could take off her diaper and do just what your imagine all over her room. Be forewarned, I hear most kids do this if you don't head them off at the pass with some fool proof way to keep their diaper on them.

I used a tape gun, I made the tape meet in the back on top of the diaper going over the tabs that keep the diaper on, making sure to NOT make it tighter on her then the diaper should be.

BEFORE I discovered this, there were a couple times when I went in to her bedroom and didn't know what to do. One time I got her out of the room, got her cleaned up and in her play area in the living room and just sat on the couch and cried. If her Father had been there that day, I would have handed him his daughter and walked out of the house to clear my head...I had no such luxury. There is no shame in being overwhelmed, there is no shame in sitting and crying about it.

On the up side, when they get older, the painful memories that bring on these moments, fade so you don't remember the emotional pain so badly, at least they did for me. I think that ability is the only reason people have more then one child.

I think I wouldn't be so stressed if I had somebody to hand him off to and say okay I need 10 minutes to go sit outside, but we as single parents don't have that problem. If i am not at work, I have him all the time. He spends his days at his daddy's and then I get him immediately after work. I do get ever other weekend off, and it does help.

I think a lot of my frustration right now has to do with the current stress in my life. Today, I made a point to play with him for several hours after I got off work instead of trying to do my own things. He seemed happy and I enjoyed the time together.

mynameislonley,

I feel for you.

I think you have the right idea about spending time with him right away and then doing your stuff.

He missed his mommy all day and all he wants is for you to show him that he is loved as much as he wants to show you he loves you.

Sometimes, well most times, kids will act up because they need you to be there for them and pay attention to them. We only have so many hours in a day and we have to make choices about how we are going to spend that time. Choose wisely, you only have so many days with him before he's off to school and then he's 8 and wants nothing to do with you. Think about how much time you have left with him.

That said, check out your local resource center or health nurse. Most will have programs for moms and when you meet other moms you can then share baby sitting and give each other an hour.

If all you need is 10 minutes put him in a play pen, turn on the TV and go into another room. As long as he's safe it won't hurt him to have you take a 10 minute breather. In fact it'll benefit him because you'll be refreshed.