BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Sexless Marriage for 3 years...is cheating OK?

I sympathize with you. I really do. My boyfriend is a type 1 diabetic and he DOES suffer from E.D. But that doesn't give ME the right to go out and cheat. You say he was never AMAZING in bed to begin with and if sex is such an issue for you then why did you marry him? There is more to a marriage.... a relationship... than sex. You also made a point to say that he "shot up to 400 pounds and smokes". Hun if you are not happy with all that then there is NO reason to cheat. Just get divorced! Its not fair to him. You say he is a good provider and a great father. Then stop taking advantage of him and leave! You are obviously content with the way he supports you and your child. But if you are thinking of straying to a point where you already know that you would if given the chance something is seriously wrong. You obviously don't love this man anymore. Let him go then. Someone out there WILL love him the way he deserves to be loved. Me and my guy have issues from time to time. Pull out a toy and let him watch. (sorry if thats too graphic for some) That gives YOU the pleasure of knowing he IS involved. Brad Pitt could walk by me naked and yeah I may look but never touch. You can't even say that about some random guy you met! Its time to let go girl!

Being a Christian, I am against the whole porn thing and the cheating thing. Of course there was a time in my life when I took part in both. I am not proud of it but it happened and I regret it but I cannot change it.

The lack of sex could be that he is embarassed about his body and is afraid that seeing him naked or being with him while he is naked and is afraid that it will turn you off. I know, my wife is like that. She is a large woman and we will have been married for five years this December and she has never let me see her naked. It doesn't matter how much I tell her that I do not care about her size and it doesn't matter how much I tell her I love her, she is very uncomfortable about her body.

Maybe you could rent a porn movie or something, get naked or dress in some sexy lingerie and ask him if he wants to watch it with you and then see if you "can get him to rise to the occasion". If that works then some night if you guys are ever just sitting there watching television together, just do things that may get him aroused and see what happens.

I agree with everyone else that divorcing him would be less hurtful than sneaking out behind his back and having an affair and then him possibly finding out about it.

Maybe you two could go see a sex therapist or something too.

I own a vacation home near a state prison in california. I do have a friend married to a correctional officer there. I do know that many correctional officers both male and female have affairs at work with each other. He could possibly have a lover or girlfriend if he isn't having sex with you. Prison work changes people like war does. Many many marriages to correctional officers end in divorce because they do tend to bring their work home with them. My friend found out that her husband was cheating on her with another coworker at the prison and she checked into divorce but he made really good money and she would lose a lot by seperating and eventually divorcing him. Her husband's playmate at the prison is also married to another correctional officer but her husband worked at another prison and they didn't see each other much. Although you are going through rough times just listen to what your heart says. I wish you the best and hopefully everything will work out fine.