BellaOnline Forums Family Attachment Parenting When do you stop co-sleeping?

My little guy and I have been co-sleeping since he was born. He is 18 months now and seems more attached than ever. He still wakes up at night when I am not in the room asking for momma. Is there a natural point when he will want to go sleep alone or have I just set myself up for a difficult transition later on. I will let him sleeep with me until he is 3 or so, but I figure by then he should be sleeping in his big boy bed.

Any suggestion on when should I start to transition him? Any advice on how to make this easier? I'm single and so far not dating, but when I do it would be nice to have my own bed.

Thats an awesome question and I am interested to see what they say.
When my daughter was a baby, I was a single parent. She slept in the bed with me for the first month or so, then I moved her to a basinet beside the bed, once she outgrew that I put her in her crib. Even once she slept in her crib, I made sure we took naps together. She didn't seem bothered at all by not sleeping in the same room with me. Prior to me putting her in her own crib in her room, I had let her take naps in there so it wasn't a strange place to her.

Now she is 10 years old and for a couple years has enjoyed coming and sleeping with me, usually on the weekends. I think this started back in 2004 when we had the hurricanes come through. Of course when it was storming, I had her and the animals in my room for safety reasons. We had a hurricane party to cover up the fact I needed to know where everyone was just in case we had to seek shelter in the laundry room.

When she sleeps in her own room, she does just fine. I am a night person and often sit up and watch TV, most nights she doesn't even get up to go to the bathroom.

Some have said I shouldn't allow her to sleep with me but I don't think its a sign of a negative dependence because of how well she does in her own bed when she sleeps in there. We have fun, watch a little TV in bed, invite the cats in with us, have a snack...all the things your probably NOT supposed to do in bed but its a bonding experience for us. I hope she feels free to come and get in bed with me whenever she wants.

My own Mother and I are not very close but I often would go and lay down in bed beside her of an evening or if she had laid down to take a nap in the afternoon, even as recently as 2005 when I was there last, I was 38 at the time. I was the same way with my Grandmother while she was alive, I always enjoyed sleeping with her whenever I could.

I tried to not cosleep with my first, my sons father decided that would not be the case. I worked nights, he worked days, so it was easier for him. I didn't know this until over a year later when he still wanted to sleep in the same bed.

With my girl I stopped after the first month, she has been in her crib since she was 31 days old, and sleeping through the night (10/hrs) since she was 5 weeks.

I can see a huge difference between the two, and I think this worked out good for me.

I saw that our first got more and more dependent on co-sleeping the older she got. It's been my experience that the older they are the harder it is for them to make the change. You would not believe what we went through trying to transition the oldest. The difficulty may have been because of the reason for tranisition: another baby.

It was rough going for awhile, but I wouldn't do anything different. Co-sleeping worked for the best in our situation, transitional problems or no. That being said, baby (younger than yours) has already indicated a preference for her own space her own baby bed at naptime.

I am still cosleeping with my two year old and I intend to go on doing so until she decides she does not want to as we are very pushed for room. Even then she will need to have a bed in my room unless we move.

Everyone that I speak to tells me that they do eventually decide that they want their own space. They no longer want to live your life so closely and want some privacy.

But it sounds like that time might be a little too far distant for you, so perhaps it's time to explore other options.

That's the approach we're taking. Amelia is two and a half, and we're thoroughly enjoying having her sleep with us. She gets a lot out of it, and so do we!

When she's ready, she'll choose to sleep alone. She already has times when she wants to be on the bed with us out of the room, so we might be the ones to move out of her bed!

My son and I are still co-sleeping and I love it. It is a time for us to bond after being seperated all day. He always wakes me up in the morning, and let me tell you there is nothing like being woken up by your little guy saying "Mommy, I love you".:)

My ex though believes otherwise. He decided last night that he was going to sleep in his crib for the first time. He told me he cried for 20 minutes and it was heart wrenching, but eventually he went to sleep. He wants to transition him to a crib, but I am not ready. From what I have read he should eventually want to sleep in his own bed to establish his independence and identity...which should happen around 3 years of age. I feel bad that my little guy is going thru this just to come back after the weekend and sleep with me. He got so upset that he threw-up.

My first slept with us until he was about three (at the time my daughter was one). We had a twin bed shoved up against our king-sized bed. He just decided he wanted to go into his own room. And at night when I'd tuck him in, I would want to snuggle a little. He'd say "okay mom, you can go." LOL. My daugther also chose to sleep with us until she was about three. Then she was excited to sleep in the room with her brother. They were (and are) always welcome to climb in bed with us if they needed.

I think every family is different... we just need to follow our hearts

Okay everyone I finally decided that for me it was time to get him in his own crib. Last night we attempted it. We didn't go through our sleep routine though and after laying beside his crib for an hour and a half with him listening to my every move...I gave up.

Today we talked about how big boys sleep in their own rooms and how he was a big boy. We read books like usual, and then went and brushed out teeth and then I told him it was time to go to sleep. He cried a little when he realized he was going to be sleeping in his bed.

I put him in his bed, he didn't cry but laid down and asked me for my hand. I laid beside the crib and put my hand thru the slats of the bed so he could feel my arm. I think within a half hour he was asleep, not sure really because I fell asleep too

I hope he sleeps through the night but if not that is okay, I expect it.

Now I just have to work my way from the floor to the door and out

Hi! I was interested to read this discussion about co-sleeping, as I'm doing child development research on children's sleeping arrangements through a university study. As a parent you may be interested in being part of this study. It wouldn�t take much of your time, and it�s a great way to contribute to knowledge by reporting on your own experiences. For more details go to the following address after copying it into your browser window www.babysleepstudy.org or www.milestonesresearch.org and click on �Baby Sleep.�
Best wishes, Rebecca