BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development What do you want to "self develop?"

WOW Jase, you are an EXPERT! I'm very impressed!!!!!!

Your view on "not dieting" is also how i try to look at it... i try to think in terms of "eating better" and making small, permanent improvements rather than dieting. The word "diet" traditionally just meant how a person eats, not "trying to lose weight." But we don't really have a word anymore that doesn't have the stamp of the diet industry on it, do we?

well it's been a 5 year battle and i still have more time to go ;0)

Read something yesterday that when you DIE -T a little part of you DIE's! If you only rethink your whole life style and adapt accordingly - it shouldn't have to be structured around deprivation and loss!

I have never been one to diet.... it just doesn't work for me. But I do eat in moderation and try to eat foods that are healthy and nutritional. I think this has really made me a healthier me!

billiecat, what situations do you find you are not sticking up for yourself? I have been thinking about this.

Hi Holly:
I have always let people take advantage of me. I have to make a point to not overextend myself - I have done for others more than I have taken care of myself. I don't want people talking me in to doing something for example.
I have never stuck up for myself as a child. As an adult, I do have more self-esteem and don't allow this as much, but there is always that part of myself - the one who gets walked on. I am working on this.

That is kinda what i thought might be going on. As i remind myself sometimes, "Act like a doormat, and don't be surprised if people wipe their feet on you."

I don't blame them anymore. I just take responsibility for how i behave and what i agree to do and what i don't, what i put up with and what i don't. I realize that i am free and i can choose one way or another. Does that make sense?

Yes, and you are correct. Logically, I know what to do; emotionally, there is a problem, especially on tired days.....

But to remind yourself all of the time that you have to be responsible is very important. I also say to myself that I have to freedom not to engage - when anyone tries to get your involved in their hatred.

Thanks for writing to me.

I enjoy writing to you.

I like how you put "when anyone tries to get me involved in their hatred." That's a good way of putting it. I can picture it as a dish of eels getting served... lol... it doesn't mean i have to take it.

When i get tired... and i might be physically tired, but it also happens when i'm emotionally tired from stimulation or stress... i tend to pick at myself, complain, and feel hopeless. Sometimes i can't rest. Any ideas how to deal with it?

I am always reminded that I need to take care of me before I can take care of others. I feel guilty when I do something for myself like buy a new shirt or a pair of pants, or treat myself to a lunch, or a soda, or anything.

The most important thing to do is care for yourself, because if you can't do it for yourself, how are we to expect others to?