BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Second child after 24 years?

OK, I am doing my PhD and live in a university building. My flatmate just told me that she doesn't want to go back home to visit her parents in the US (we do our PhD in the UK) because her parents decided to have another baby after 24 years! My flatmate is 31 and her younger sister is 7; this is not a stepsister, mind you. She told me that her parents would not co-sign a loan for her because it would ruin their credit and they have a small child they need to send to private school. My flatmate has to work long hours just so she can pay for food and rent while doing her PhD at the same time! All this because her parents will not co-sign a freaking loan document for which she will be responsible to repay!

I wonder what drives people to have a second baby after 24 years........... I mean, they have an older daughter who is not only beautiful but obviously very successful (we both go to Oxford!)in her academic studies and will certainly have a good job once she gets her PhD. What more are they looking for?

Obviously, a child who is in their midst to glorify their narcissitic interests. Your room mate has moved out of their mirroring for a while so they perhaps need to replenish their own supply! HuH!? Read a guy called SAM VAKNIN 'MALIGNANT NARCISSISM'
Cheers
Boni
ps are you presently at OXFORD?
I'm at UCT Cape TOwn

Bonitaj, I am glad you read Sam Vaknin. I was actually the one who recommended his article dealing with narcissism and the need to have children. I love that man's articles! Your observation is well put. She moved out at 22, they had no one to order around so they decided to bring another human being into the world for that same purpose.

Yeah, I am in Oxford. I just moved here from the US to do my PhD. I am glad Oxford is a child-free place (at least the residences and colleges are.)

I think as Vaknin suggests, we all pursue our own "STUFF" to replenish those ego needs. It becomes 'Malignant' when we don't acknowledge that it is an obsession with "Self thing" due to PERSONALITY DEFICITS>>> i.e. I know for a fact my own Narcissism is vested in Academia, so although I have 4 kids of my own... the CF thing is not the issue for me.
TO each his own!
Talk again soon
BonitaJ

I have one child, I had her the day before my 30th birthday, I am now 40. I had wanted to have more then one child but I didn't want to do it on my own and I have not been married to have one with a spouse. Even if I were to get married now, I can't imagine having another child 10 years later.

I can't imagine having a child after that long. How old must these people be? If their daughter is 31 they must be in their 50s which would mean they must have had to go through artificial insemination and egg donation.

I think sometimes people do things to feel like they are still young. Some buy convertibles, some men grow their hair long, some have children. I think people should just let it go and grow old gracefully.

Maybe this is their way of telling her that they want grandchildren. I'm glad she's working so hard and getting her PhD. That is so hard, and I'm happy to see more women achieving this goal.