BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids manipualation into parenthood

my hubby and i were on a flight back from germany last sunday. we both were watching Schrek 3 , the part where Fiona and Schrek have their kids and everything is honkey dorey and all the fears Schrek had about having kids of course were unfounded. my hubby turned to me and said "is that how they manipulate people into having children?"i thought it was a very interesting and true comment.i thought about that and yeah that is so true how esp. children's movies are usually like that. i really do think that the media in their own way tries to manipulate people into thinking that they should have kids. i have even stopped reading books by certain authors b/c while the mysteries themselves are good the romance part of the book is ridiculous and after knowing each other i swear a day they want to get married and of course have kids.i've gotton so agrivated with these type of books that i dont' even read them anymore.i like some romance in my mystery novels but give me a break.

that's why i've started back with reading my true crime novels again.


indigo

That's what made me mad about the movie 'Stardust.' The narrator states that Tristan and Yvaine have kids and their kids have kids and so forth. I know it wasn't a huge part in the movie, but it bothered me. I mean god forbid a fairytale not end with marraige and children and happiness. As I recall, in the book Yvaine tells Tristan they cannot have kids because she is a star and he is a mortal, and they are happy with that fact and travel the world for years.

This manipulation is so pervasive, so all-encompassing, that if you are not on the lookout for it and point it out, you think it is normal, so you just ignore it. Take someone who just "accepts what society tells her what she should do" and that is how the "manipulation" occurs.

I think that is why I escaped the biggest part of the brainwashing that society gives you. I analyzed everything critically, not assuming that everything is as I was told, even as a young kid. In this case, being a skeptic led me to the point where I was not part of the herd mentality when it came to children, and other big issues.

i think it's so wrong and sad for the media to manipulate people esp. young children into thinking that there is only one way to live your life. i haven't seen Stardust but i'm not suprised that they changed the ending in the movie. that's why i really like woody allen b/c a lot of his movies don't have "hollywood endings" but somehow they are still good endings. it's sometimes hard to find books, movies, etc... without all the manipulation theme as i now call it. i'm trying to be more selective though. i agree with you duane that it's imp. for people to really think and analyze things that they are told. i think it's really awesome that you have managed to do that. it's too bad that more people don't.

indigo

I find I seem to gravitate towards mystery/crime novels that have a single person as the detective! E.g. I LOVE Agatha Christie and Hercule Poirot is single and no kids and as far as I know so is Miss Marple! Tommy and Tuppence have them but you very rarely hear them mentioned! Plus in their first cases they are married no kids! (Their very first just meeting)
I also like the Kinsey Malhone books
but I can't remember the author's name.
No kids and the vast majority of the time this detective is dateless.
And I love "The cat who" series by Lillian Jackson Braun. Querrilin, I think his name is or Quin? Something like that, he is single and no kids. Cats - that are very clever, like he is, but no kids.
Ditto for detective stuff on TV/DVD etc. Hart to Hart, Murder she wrote, (single no kids?) and so on.

By the way, I hated the way Shreik Three ended with the kids! I liked how he wasn't initially thrilled and said they poo and sleep and eat and that's it! (or something?) but it kind of annoyed me a bit how it just HAD to end with them having kids - and lots of them!
I mean, they were perfectly fine WITHOUT any kids!
For some reasons (this aside) this was my least fave Shreik movie and I'm not sure why. I thought Snow White totally kicked [censored] though when "animals attacked" and they played "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zep, that was my FAVOURITE part!!
But - back to the kid thing again - once again, seeing how chaotic it can be having kids I thought NO THANK YOU!!
But it annoyed me further that this is a kids movie really and they are sort of glorifying the have kids and lots of thing a bit to a young audience! Which I did NOT like!

Perhaps I'm just more aware of it now because "Are we there yet?" didn't bother me and the guy ended up becoming a family man in that too! (although, not his kids.) Maybe cos I felt sorry for the kids, who knows?

I totally agree with your manipulation (subtle propoganda) view. My view is that Hollywood mainstream movies are simply based on a formula (my friend who writes screen plays knows the formula and there's usually the same elements - somehow a car chase, somehow a happy romantic ending etc etc) and the formula is followed to attract the masses (or "herd" as Duane describes it) to make the most possible money. It's so dangerous though because it passes stereotypes and expectations on to the viewers (who are usually of a herd mentality anyway). So it all perpetuates itself.

I cannot bear Hollywood mainstream movies - I just refuse to go to see them. I can't be bothered - the last one I got talked into was Mr and Mrs Smith (that's a story in itself because it was a friend's kindergarten fundraiser and I felt utterly smothered and out of place in that room with all those mothers). Mr and Mrs Smith made me so angry because it was so darned formulaic and I hate being treated like a sheep.

I only go to independent and arthouse films. Not to be a snob, but my time is really limited and I want to spend it on worthwhile activities. I love walking out of films feeling nurtured, challenged or stimulated and for this outcome I need the film to be of substance and having utter integrity.

Also, I can't stand movie complexes full of teenagers (teenagers are my most despised species....)

I am a sucker for a Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie though - at home on DVD and I do love anything with Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep or Jack Nicholson, so I can't claim to be totally high brow!

In spite of mountains of evidence to the contrary, I think couples believe that having children will cement their relationship. I think some women believe he won't leave them if she gives him a child.

It certainly shines a light on the fact that IF your relationship is lacking and you NEED something to cement it, you shouldn't add children to the mixture.

Have any of you guys been in a relationship that got to a point where you should have broken up but you got married or moved in together and later relized you choose the wrong thing and should have broken up? I think some marriages get to the same place. They have children to "jazz things up" or to PROVE their love and commitment. Thats a HUGE burden to place on an innocent child.

I would like to read the story that goes something like this
once upon a time boy sees girl and likes girl because girl is smart funny and dont a skinny b!TC#. Girl sees handsome boy and likes boy because boy is stable smart funny and treats her like a equal. boy and girl get married and live blissfully child free ever after

The End

why does the guy in fairytales have to be rich or a king or a strong he man? and why do all movies promote guys what are rebels with out a cause and misunderstood blah blah blah

and why are the girls always hour glass figures, the damsel in destress, or just plain old stupid?

think about all the horror movies you have watched. there is some stupid blonde goddess with great big boobs and may be 80 pounds if she bothered to put on the rest of her cloths! she is the one in the shower sences or she hears a noise in the house so she locks the doors and windows so SHE cant get out!