BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids FYI, from truemomconfessions.com

I've found alot of the moms on TMC are cheating and they cite lack of interest from hubby as the biggest reason. Reading your post Terrence, maybe hubby is cheating and that is why he shows no interest in wifey!

Interesting the lady that said her husband wanted more kids and she'd rather die (or words to that effect). One of my colleagues was struggling with her 3 year old daughter - a bad sleeper and back to back tantrums. Her husband is a busy executive - rarely at home. Well the pressure to have another child persisted and now they have twin sons - and you guessed it, the mother is going mad caring for three children while Dad climbs the corporate ladder. Strange that he wanted more children - his wife thinks its an ego thing. So many women end up in this position - they compromise themselves out of existence - their careers suffer and if the marriage ends down the line, they often struggle financially unable to get back into the workforce or to find a reasonable job with outdated experience. I personally believe women should put themselves first and never agree to do anything that will compromise their security and happiness - whether that be giving up your life or having children for someone else.

That sounds like my worst nightmare, except you're already awake.

Why is it that women always feel obligated to give up and give in, and sacrifice their own happiness for everybody else's? More social programming, I suppose ...

That's crazy. People who want their spouse to have children (even if the spouse doesn't want them) never seem to consider that they might end up with twins, or a special needs child, or a child with health problems. Having a disabled or sick child can't be very good for the ego, and say goodbye to your wife, because she'll be otherwise occupied for the rest of her life taking care of them.

Twins? Today I was bingoed "When are you and your husband going to have your bundle of joy?" and I started off my reply with
"BundleS of joy. Twins run in BOTH our families!" And they do! Sure on my side it's just my identical twin biological cousins but on hubby's it's his brother and our sister in law! (fraternal, boy and girl)
And while I will confess I am quite fascinated with twins and could even use them as a reason FOR us having kids: (Because in my kodak moment days it was twins I wanted, esp. after reading - gulp, confession time! - Sweet Valley Highs - two things:
First of all twins may be fascinating and adorable and the concept of twins is neat (well I think so!) BUT they can
ALSO be double trouble!
Plus I get a feeling that brother in law is finding it hard, he DOES seem more stressed than before! It could be other things though.
ALSO
what if I had my heart set on us having twins and we didn't have twins? I mean, I'm sure you know of women/men who get the opposite sex of the baby they want. Which is dumb, sure - to think like that - but it happens.
My cousin has 7.
Because she wanted a girl and they had six boys first!

If you start thinking about having babies, just watch A Baby Story. That will cure you right away! I made the mistake of watching about 5 minutes of it today as I cleaned ... EW EW EW EW EW!

Ack! I'd rather watch one of those medical shows where they show a surgery going on, blood and all, rather than watch a show like "A Baby Story!"

The thing is, I can't even stand to watch someone being injected with a needle, much less anything worse.

I think the reason for that is that everything about those "baby adoration" shows, from opening titles to end credits, assaults every reason and feeling that makes me CF. On the one or two times that I did try to watch that, just for the heck of it, I wanted to scream at the TV "Don't do it! Don't live for the Kodak moments! Don't give into society's pressure! You're making a big mistake!"

Does that summarize it?

I wonder sometimes who is really confessing and who is just making stuff up. But then why go to the effort of searching out a site like that and posting if you are not genuine? There are posts that go both ways, of course. Ones that are happy and ones that aren't. I seem to really empathize with the "not so happy" ones. Am I just giving in to the "misery loves company" idea? I am not married, nor do I have children, but I am lonely and it's hard sometimes to not fall into that trap. That is, give in to a relationship only to find yourself in an even bigger trap (i.e. kids or a lifestyle you are just not suited for).

Twins run in both of our families, too! Both my fiance's mother and my mother were fraternal twins. In both families, about every other generation has a set of twins (always fraternal, usually one boy and one girl). Add that to the list of reasons...

Twins run in DH's family, too, and skip generations. His grandfather was a twin, and his sister has 3-yr old twins. Yep, that was one of our reasons NOT to have "just one" - we were afraid it wouldn't be!