BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids OT : Joke

Married people will totally get this.

Are You Cuckoo?

Why women should avoid girls' nights out after they are married...
The other night I was invited out for a night with 'the girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = (MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 'Midnight'. He didn't seem annoyed at all.
Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'Oh s**t', cuckooed four more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

That is hysterical Pikasam. Here is my joke which I got from the Road Bike Rider newsletter.
Mike

A cyclist gets up early on a Saturday morning for a long bike ride. He quietly goes from the bedroom to the guest room so he doesn�t wake his sleeping wife. He gets dressed and stretches. He then goes into the kitchen to get his energy bars and water bottles for his long ride. From the kitchen, he walks into the garage. He opens the garage door and it is pouring down rain. He ponders what to do. He has ridden in rain before and he never misses his long ride on Saturday. Reluctantly he goes back into the house and turns on the small TV in the kitchen to the weather channel.
The forecast calls for the weather to get even worse. So the cyclist decides that today he will miss his long ride. He return to the bedroom, undresses and cuddles up to his sleeping wife. He whispers in her ear �The weather outside is terrible honey.� The wife sleepily replies � Yeah I can�t believe my husband went for a long bike ride in that cr@p!�

hahaha, Pikasam, that is so funny, and you sound like such a very cute couple!

This one made me giggle today.

I have been married for 36 years. I took a look at my wife today and said, "Honey, 36 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, no car, no TV, no money and slept on a sofa bed, but I got to sleep every night with a hot, good looking 18 year old.
Now, we have a beautiful house, two nice cars, king size bed, lots of money and a 50" TV, but I'm sleeping with a 54 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 18 year old beautiful girl, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, no car, no money and sleeping on a sofa bed...

Mouhahahaha! Thanks for sharing it!