I was reading
Childfree News yesterday and thought I'd share a couple of articles with you. The first,
I wanted to be a full-time mother..., is about the effect of children on relationships. It seems that, far from bringing a couple closer, it often drives people completely apart. The comments, which are worth reading, suggest that this is far from an isolated incident - very sad, and another incentive to forego the 'pleasures' of parenthood.
The second article,
The rewards of parenthood, is about a scheme in New York which gives financial incentives to mothers on welfare for carrying out certain tasks, such as taking their children to the doctor or taking an interest in their schooling - in other words, for being normal mothers.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am deeply against throwing money at people simply for doing something which they ought to be doing anyway, especially when this benefit is limited to a particular group (the people who probably shouldn't have been having children in the first place). It was your choice to have a child, so get on with it. On the other hand, I recognise that we all benefit from living in a society of well-parented children, and that sometimes the ends do justify the means. The Mayor is quoted as saying, "What is clear is that these people aren�t doing what we�d like them to do. And so, if the only way you can get them to do it is by paying them, is that better or worse than not having them do it at all?"
That's all fine and dandy, but somehow I doubt that paying a bad parent to take care of their children will magically turn them into the epitome of parenthood. After all, the tasks for which these people are paid are only a small part of what every parent must do. They may receive a cash benefit for taking their child to the dentist, but you can do that and still remain disinterested and unsupportive towards your children. I'm not sure I'm expressing myself clearly, but I think that there is a danger that they will go through the motions of being a good parent, yet lack the internal drive to be one - and children do pick up on that.
Thoughts, comments?