BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Upcoming visit

Hi everyone-
I usually lurk, but I had to get this off my chest. My husband and I are going to visit a number of people we know in the Philly area next month, and one of them just had a baby, which my husband is excited to see (he is CF but likes kids; I'm CF and really don't like them). The mom has always been more his friend than mine (she's a little annoying) and in the e-mails she sent us she seems to have morphed into one of those "I'm awesome because I reproduced people". Gack. I have other friends who've had kids and I've been excited for them, even enjoyed holding the babies for a few minutes (when they start talking I lose interest completely). I have a feeling this is going to be worse. DH doesn't quite get my lack of enthusiasm for this visit, probably because I've been excited to see these other childed friends. I don't know if it's a guy thing or what, but he just doesn't get as irritated by the attitude change, the single mindedness and the BINGOing that occurs when people feel like they've done something fantastic by breeding. Either way, I don't want to go and wanted to complain to people who would understand! Thanks!
Ceridwen

We're here for ya, Techno...

Getting through those visits with children is always easier for me after a few libations. Good luck.

I hate it when previous "normal" friends suddenly turn into child-obsessed zombies too. it's as if their interesting personality got sucked away, got replaced, or ... deleted. It sucks. *sigh*
hope your visit won't be too bad ... please tell us how it goes.

i really feel for you! while reading your post i was starting to cringe! this isn't the exact same thing but next week i'm going to germany with my hubby to visit his family and for my nephew's baptism. while i'm excited to see my niece and nephew i know it's going to be all about the kids most of the time i'm there. luckily we're going to visit friends of ours in hamburg for a few days.
i reallly think it's different with men in general when they have kids b/c it seems that they can still talk about other things and it doesnt' seem to change them as much.i know there are exceptions but it's just been my experience. i'm lucky b/c my one friend who has two kids isn't " in complete mommyland" and we can talk about a lot of things and she's really cool to hang around with.

all i can tell you is to stay strong, hang in there and maybe if you can swing go off on your own or with your hubby while you're there and do some things on your own. that is what i had to do with my visits to germany b/c the one time i went i was so depressed i barely made it through the two weeks. i don't speak the language and i don't really know his friends and extended family well either so it can get quite lonely for me. we had a long talk about it and my hubby now understands and tries to make the trips better for me. maybe you can have a conversation with your hubby and really explain how you feel and have a game plan when you go. just a suggestion.

good luck and please do let us know how it goes!

indigo

Wow, Indigo, having the same kind of experience and not knowing the language makes it even worse. Yeesh! I feel for ya! But on the upside, maybe you don't understand the horrific mommy talk. Ack.

DH understands where I'm coming from, he's just much more willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, in case the "mommyland zombie" emails aren't representative of how she'll be in person. It's not a long visit by any means, we'll probably just hang out for a day, if that. Not that traumatizing, I'm just whining! Thanks for the support.

Scary zombie parents from the planet Zygote. Too funny.

I just got back from visiting my BFF in UK for a weeklong first birthday "fest" for her toddler. True Confession alert: I am in love with my god-daughter!!! I had the best time with her, far, far, far (can I say FAR enough?) better than I ever imagined I would. Best part? Handing her off to mum/dad for the icky diaper ("nappy") changes! But I did get lots of snuggle/play time and it was great. Most of my week revolved - R-E-V-O-L-V-E-D - around babyfest, BUT I have to give BFF credit. The night of the "adult-only" cookout, she was very concerned about one friend (besides myself) who doesn't relate to the mommy-talk. BFF actually steered the conversation away from babyland and asked her about her upcoming wedding details so she would be included.

So glad you had fun Tbunny! It's people like your BFF that give me hope!

Cool, tbunny! It is so easy to be with babies who aren't yours! They are SO fun. Start screaming? Hand them back!

'Xactly!!!! (and did I say I'm IN LOVE with her??? granted, she is a smily/giggly/happy baby most of the time, so it's easy! and pretty friggin cute, too!)

HOWEVER..... all her cuteness/cuddliness/etc. does NOT in ANY way make me want one of my own! If my BFF can understand this (and she is a woman who has desperately wanted babies since I've known her), WHY can't the general population? That's the first thing the guys at work started with when I got back... "so you had a good time with her, why don't you have one of your own??" Because I can't give 'em back when they need a diaper change!!! Don't you fools GET it????

end of rant <whew, thanks!>