Wow, you guys are amazing - thank you SO much for your empathy and advice. I was supposed to respond last night but ran out of time (and was busy cleaning up after Phoebe!)
All the suggestions are great. My current dilemma is that my 20 year-old stepson lives with us. Now that is good in a way, because for shorter trips he just feeds her and I suspect is a little more affectionate to her when we're not watching. It's just that he's not really an animal person and she's a little scared of him (because he's tall and gangly and lopes around). Also she's so used to lots of affection from us. Having him living here for now means I can't get an animal-friendly housesitter (which I used to do when Phoebe and I lived alone in my apartment pre-DH). Your comments about animals getting sad at the boarding kennels etc makes me think that leaving her here is best. But maybe as well as SS doing the basic feeding, I could hire a really empathetic cat-lover to visit once a day for half an hour or so. Anyway, individual responses below:
When I was a kid, though, I was in charge of looking after my mom's friend's cats when she went on vacation. I loved it. Is there a neighborhood kid or a niece/nephew who could look after it? If they consider it a privilege, they'll probably show the cat lots of affection.
Ingelbert: Great idea - haven't quite found the right kid, and any family members are scattered over the city, so i'll have to think about this one. Maybe I'll make it my mission to find that kid in the next year!
Anyway, if you're pathetic for feeling this way, then at least you're not alone, because I am too...By the way, one idea my husband and I have been talking about is doing a house swap with other people with pets. I'm not sure how complicated it would be though, but we're exploring the idea. AND, one of the places we most want to travel too is NZ, soooooo....any interest in a vacation on a ranch in No. Cal?
Wow, Frieda, you're on! That would be great, wouldn't it. I've spent quite a bit of time in No. Cal because my ex-bf was from Marin County (he's now in Abhayagiri Monastery). The only trouble, as per above, is that our house (although having sea views and being 3 minute walk from the beach) contains a 20-year-old stepson. That's not forever, though, so let's talk!! Maybe in the next couple of years? I would LOVE to look after your pets and i get the distinct feeling Phoebe would love you. All options open :-) I am so relieved, thank you, to find that I am not alone in being pathetic.
I can also relate to worrying terribly about what to do when you go on vacation...I just worry about them receiving the amount of attention/affection they're accustomed to for the week we're gone
LSUTiger00: I also worry about Phoebe not getting the attention she is used to. Sometimes I think maybe I should give her less, so it's not such a shock when we go away, but it's impossible not to. I do have a sort of a comforting theory. I think cats sort of deal with whatever's in front of them. When I'm in front of Phoebe, she goes into "attention" mode. When i'm not there, she just sleeps and gets on with it. When we came back from honeymoon she just acted like we'd only been gone a day. That's my hope anyway.
My dad is a baby for cats. He is 65, works at home. I found him one day sitting on the floor of his office working on his computer because the cat was sleeping on his office chair.
Rarring: I love that! I love people with that degree of compassion for animals - it's very endearing. I once found Phoebe asleep on my computer keyboard, having inadvertently had a really weird Skype conversation with one of my friends by walking all over the keys first. The conversation window was hilarious!
As to traveling. We have a truly wonderful pet sitter. She comes twice a day (we have a pet door too) and spends 30 minutes each time. Once the tasks are done of feeding, checking water, etc, she plays with them for the remaining time.
joanj: This sounds like a really good solution for me, backed up by my stepson being in the house too.
When we travel, we try to find a petsitter who can stay at the house. We've been using a volunteer from a rescue group who stays at our house. She brings her dog with her, but luckily everyone gets along.
Cookiecody: Thanks, that's given me a really good idea about where to potentially source a petsitter.
Oh Duane, I did laught at everyone's great posts, ie 'it's different when they're your own" etc. I'd like to add: "but you'd make SUCH a good cat owner"... ;-)
He just sold his house, and still hasn't found a new place. His plan is to get an apartment for a couple of months, but a 1-bedroom apartment is not a good place for a Shepherd. Hopefully, my parents, who have raised two Germans themselves, will offer to keep him for however long it takes the BF to find a new house. 