BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Self esteem

I've been having self-doubt again the last couple of days.

I've been writing as much but i keep finding myself wondering, "but what if i'm wrong?" And being very uncomfortable.

I feel like i'm just not good enough.

What can i do for myself to stop so much doubt and second-guessing?

I don't want to be arrogant or step on others' pride either... what can i do?

Hi Holly,

I hear what you are saying. I wish I could say I've never experienced this, but I have. It's a "yuck" place to be in and I sincerely hope you don't stay there for long.

When I'm feeling bad about myself I know my thoughts are on the wrong path. What helps me is to take control of my thoughts. I make the conscious decision to say no to ALL negative thoughts and self doubt.

I then think about the value of every person and recognize that I am just as valuable as anyone else. I can't be wrong! A great question which helps me is, "What would you say to your best friend in this situation?"

Another thing that helps is to write down all the positive things about myself, especially in the area I'm struggling in. I also write down my intentions on what I really want and what I'm going to do about it.

We all go through some form of discomfort when we go through change in a positive direction. What really helps is to recognize it as a sign post to say we're moving into new territory. That's exactly what we want when we want change! Sometimes our discomfort is in adjusting to what is unfamiliar. Before long, it becomes familiar and we're ready to move on again.

Somehow it's empowering to create a strategy that moves me from where I'm uncomfortable to where I feel I really want to be.

Forgive me if this sounds like a broken record. It's just that it happens to work incredibly well for me. Sometimes the most powerful things are simple.

I see confidence as being sure of who you are in a way that does not compare oneself to others. It is not dependent value because we are all valuable.

I see arrogance when someone lifts him or herself above others as if they are more valuable than others. It also seems to be related to "approval addiction" where the self esteem must continually be fed by others or they don't feel good about themselves. Thus, some arrogant people put others down so they can see themselves as above.

Holly, when you just want to be confident in who you are, it has nothing to do with others. More people will be impacted in a positive way than the ones who get offended because of their own insecurity.

Which would you rather do, make a greater difference by lighting up the path of many others or hide your light under a lamp because only a few people don't like your kind of light?

can i say hide?

it's just so intensely painful.

Wrong about what?
writing?
the path you are taking?
You are right and going on the right path.
Time will show you the result soon.

Holly, I've been reading your posts long enough to feel confident when I say....you are a gentle, sensitive person and would never intentionally hurt another's pride. If, inadvertantly, it affects them, maybe it was needed. You have alot of good to share. Go for it!

Sue, you are right.

Holly, I don't think you'd be a healthy person if you never experienced self-doubt. No matter how "expert" any of us are, in the end, we all know there aren't many hard-and-fast answers in life. But you have a lot of valuable things to say, and I know I'm not the only one in this forum who appreciates and loves you for being brave enough to do that. Every day on this forum you give us the gift of yourself and your thoughts with the pure purpose of helping others. There are few gifts as great as that.

And while I'm thinking about it, everyone, let's remember we can only be who we are, and any kind of "not good enough" thinking is based on comparing ourselves to others. Every time I hear this, I immediately think of Desiderata, my favorite poem:
BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!