BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Mindfulness Articles - updated

This is the first in a two-part series about mindfulness.

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Nice article, Barbara.

Barbara, you wrote( Extract from your article)

I will go for days at a time wanting to get a particular task done, and at the end of each day or the beginning of the next, I�ll remember that undone task. It would still be on my to do list, still in the back of my mind, but it wasn�t getting done because I�d still manage to forget about it. I would consider whether I was just procrastinating for some reason, but the truth always seems to be I�m just not mindful of it.

Is procrastination different than not being mindful?

I really liked your article! and I totally relate to what you have said.

I have a really bad habit of being messy around the house and somehow not realizing it until it's too messy and then I do a huge clean up and then it slowly piles up again and I JUST realized in reading your article that it's because I am not being mindful!! Like you said, I always have in the back of my mind what I "plan" on doing and what I need to get done that day and it's in my mind for days on end and I keep reminding myself to do it but something else always ends up being more important at the time being and then the task never gets done.

It's interesting reading this right now, because just minutes before I clicked on the article link, my husband pointed out that I have been lazy with house work lately. (That's the second time today where something happened, and then I read a post just on that particular thing! Strange)

I can't wait to read more about how to be more mindful!

I like the idea of setting limits on internet usage/tv watching etc as doing those things as a reward AFTER we complete whatever tasks that need to get done, but dont you (or anyone else) find it difficult to set boundaries with yourself and stick to it? I find that I always find some loophole to get away with not doing the task.


and i decided to share this with my husband but he doesnt seem to understand how someone can just let things go around the house (he cant stand messes at all) he doesnt understand my struggle with WANTING to complete my tasks... he thinks that its easy to just do it. We dont connect on this thing at all.... he said that he disagrees with my relating to this article.. how can he disagree with what goes through my head? he cant.. i know what goes through my head. But apparently I seem to not care that he gets frustrated with things being left longer than he would leave it.... ugh....deep breath

Barbara, being mindful at all times is OK?
Or it will cause stress?

I thought showing him this article and letting him know that I related to it and that I want to make an effort to change it, would make him happy. But apparently, it made it worse because he thinks I should just do what Im supposed to do (my share of the chores) why do I struggle with this sooo much? All my life Ive been like this. I do a hugggge spring cleaning and stay organized for a week or 2 then it allll falls apart and clothes everywhere and keep putting things off... i hate it and he deosnt seem to understand why its so hard for me.

Men are from Mars!

That they are!

Well, I'm working on the second part right now, but I'll answer all your questions first!

Let's see--yes, CD, procrastination is a little different from being mindful. Mindfulness is paying attention to particular things. Procrastination is avoiding things, right? You can be mindfully procrastinating, actually

What I meant in that paragraph you quoted was that I wasn't getting a certain task done, and I realized it wasn't because I was deliberately avoiding the task (by procrastinating), but I was just forgetting to put it my head as a priority to get it done. Does that make sense?

Lala, there are two kinds of people when it comes to tasks: the postponers and the doers. The doers just see it and do it, bingo--it's done. The postponers are wanting more to head for something else and see the undone thing and put off doing it in favor of the other thing. Doesn't sound like you enjoy housework much, but I'm not sure many of us do. My grandmother told me she and I lack the "domestic gene," and I've always used that as my excuse for not being a better cook or more into homemaking.

But the truth for me sometimes is just a lack of follow through. Putting things away takes a few minutes, and then it's done and can't "pile up." Clearing out a pile up takes a lot longer, so if you can convince yourself to just take those extra few seconds or minutes to follow through and put things up as you handle them, you'll keep that lovely spring cleaning job fresh a lot longer, maybe even permanently. And even better, you'll free your mind of that nagging guilt that grows as clutter accumulates around you.

Pratibha, being mindful actually gives peace of mind. I find it's more stressful to be in a fog and unclear about what I'm supposed to be doing than it is to stay focused. What do you think?

Agree.
Focus is very imp, Barbara.