BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Odd things you've heard people say regarding kids

Like I stated before, I rarely come to this board, i think this thread is only the second or third one I have since I have been coming here for 3 years now but the comment you made caught my eye.

Of course the point of my post has been taken wrong. Good day.

"

Originally Posted By: Griz

Some people CAN handle it all, they are not suffering from any emotional or physical strain, they are happy with their lives as much as you are with yours, and they can make time for themselves and evolve as people through parenting.
"

This is a statement of opinion, like the other opinions you've seen on this site. It is not a hard fact, it is your opinion.

"Most of you don't even want to believe these people exist, but they do. And I say this because I will be one of them, and I want the same kind of respect you do from society at large. I don't want to feel harangued by the very people who say society owes them a little more respect (which they do). "NOBODY can do it all" "SOMETHING'S got to give".... no, it doesn't."

How do you know you will be one of them, that can do it all? I ask because the parents I know that are struggling and juggling thought they could handle it, too. I hope parenting meets your unrealistic expectations. Good luck with that. Again, I'm not going to argue with your opinion. It's absolutely impossible to do it all, and do it all well. And why do you need our respect anyway? This is a CF board, we are saying the things you can't say in the outside world in a very specific forum. This is a place for exploration, and also for venting about the sometimes annoying status quo. When we talk about having understanding, we aren't reading every word our childed friends might be blogging behind our backs. Maybe they are sniping about us on a parenting board somewhere. It's anonymous, it's harmless, and it doesn't harm anyone.

"Think about what would happen if you met someone, or a group of people who thought marriage was for fools and a total waste of energy and life? What if these people constantly slammed marriage but were otherwise smart and good to be around? When they told you your marriages were utter mistakes would you just sit there and take it? Or would you mention how happy you are and how you RESPECT THEIR CHOICE but also believe there is more to the issue than what they believe? Or would you just walk away?

"

This is a completely different scenario. No one is telling parents their lives are mistakes - we are writing on an anonymous blog about some of the shortcomings of parenting. If you are really sensitive about this type of thing, you probably should walk away. You are assuming you are bestowing really original information, and we've heard it all.

[quote=frieda7] I get really annoyed when people make blanket statements trying to describe my feelings about children./quote]

Just as I get annoyed when people make a blanket statement that because I am fat, I must be unhappy, sad, depressed, stuff my face all day, don't know when to stop eating, etc etc blah blah blah. Which was the point of my post that I made earlier. Everyone needs to learn just because a group of people are a certain way doesn't mean someone who is similar to them is necessarily the same. I am done beating a dead horse Good night all

I do want to make one observation before I sign off of this forum. I admire everyone here for standing up for what they believe in even though my point was smacked way off the grid. I truly respect and admire someone who will stand up to the face of adversity, unite, and stand together for what they believe in. This isn't a sarcastic post, please don't think that. I am not like that. The few times I have stumbled upon a thread in this forum, even if I didn't agree with what was said or was offended by the contents, I have been amazed at how everyone doesn't back down.

I think you need to reread my original post. You are coming down way harder on people with weight problems. Like Elise said in her post, it makes sense given time constraints, that parents might not have a lot of free time for exercise, which can lead to weight gain. I can barely make time for it myself with my relationship, job, commute, household chores, but I know it would be so much harder if I was taking care of a child.

You are making this personal. "I must stuff my face all day long, don't know when to stop eating..." You said this, not me. This is your stuff, not mine.

so you're boiling it down to

Griz = troll
Griz's arguments = invalid and fallacious

when all I wanted to do was give consistent proof against a statement that went something like

Having children = giving up self-fulfillment (equaling, not being as prepared, enlightened, or wise as someone who chooses to be CF, which in short could translate to "why would anyone in their right mind choose children over personal evolution?")

So it's basicaly a way of calling every parent, or future parent, a "not so smart person". THAT is what I call a blanket accusation. I've been respectfuly disagreeing, and I see the conversation kind of halt and then seem to turn around, but then it ways of going back stating exactly the same thing in a different way, and still you wonder why I feel the need to come back and restate my case.

It's also funny that I have also been one of the few who has not once lost her poise in this entire argument, all the while reassuring everyone that I RESPECT THEIR CHOICE and it is as valid and worthy as mine. This somehow makes me a troll.

I am NOT being disrespectful to your choices, I would defend them with a passion because I know you have a right to make that choice and live with it, but you're being like the very people you despise so much, in a clear way you're trolling ME, you're being no different than all the people out there who seem to know what's the "one right way" of doing things.

let me sign off with this, hopefuly you will see it this time

I RESPECT YOUR CHOICE TO BE CF, I THINK YOU HAVE MADE A WONDERFUL LIFE CHOICE FOR YOURSELVES AND I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. I DON'T THINK MY CLAIMS ARE WORTHY OF CAUSING SUCH A RAGE BECAUSE I BELIEVE YOUR CHOICE TO BE CF DOES NOT COME FROM TRYING TO PROVE THAT YOURS IS THE "BEST CHOICE" FOR EVERYONE, BUT MERELY THE ABSOLUTE BEST CHOICE FOR THE LIFESTYLE YOU ENVISION YOURSELVES HAVING.

I DO NOT, REPEAT DOOOO NOOOOT WANT TO PREACH OR CHANGE YOUR MINDS ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE CHOICES, SIMPLY TO COUNTER WHAT I STILL THINK IS A FALLACIOUS LINE OF REASONING ABOUT PARENTING AS NOT BEING A "SMART CHOICE" FOR ANYONE.

Griz,
I just don't think you're getting our point.
We don't need your "consistent proof against a statement," because as someone stated earlier, you think to seem you're dispensing information that we've never heard of. Your line of thinking is not original, as pointed out earlier.

And Griz, we don't NEED OR WANT your reassurance that you respect our choices. We're a confident group of people who do not need to rely on whether or not we're respected by a prospective parent. That's condescending and naive. I don't need you to tell me my choice to be CF is as valid and worthy as yours. I KNOW THAT! duh!

No one ever said being a parent is not a smart choice for anyone! We just all agree that becoming a parent is not a smart choice for us. You're reading too much into our responses.

Why do you have a case, though? You are really controlling if you can't just let the people on this board have their own thoughts and opinions. You were "happy" when you thought you had converted the board into your way of thinking, and had to circle back around when we weren't thinking that way anymore? The people on this board don't always agree with each other. Just b/c we are all CF doesn't mean we always agree on everything. At a certain point, you just have to let it go.

so you're boiling it down to

Griz = troll
Griz's arguments = invalid and fallacious

No, Griz...I suspect you're a lot smarter than this.

Griz = rude newbie who doesn't really belong on this forum, given that she's a gung-ho future parent (and we're trolling you? Wow --- that's a good one!)

Griz's arguments = valid (I've said several times I know of parents who are extremely fulfilled. One of them is my mom-of-3 friend, whom I've already mentioned. Parenthood is not a bad deal for *everyone*...I don't think one of us has said that. It's just that parenthood is a good choice for a much smaller number folks than the number of people who actually become parents. I hear that fact anecdotally and I have also seen it with my own eyes, among friends and associates of mine).

Griz's delivery, on the other hand, is repetitive, preachy, profoundly tone-deaf to the culture of this forum, and now it's even LOUD.

So...who's up for quiche?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asparagus Quiche

"A delectable combination of ingredients that result in a tasty quiche dish."

Original recipe yield:
2 - 8 inch quiche
PREP TIME 25 Min
COOK TIME 35 Min
READY IN 1 Hr

INGREDIENTS
1 pound fresh asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1/2 inch pieces
10 slices bacon
2 (8 inch) unbaked pie shells
1 egg white, lightly beaten
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups half-and-half cream
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Place asparagus in a steamer over 1 inch of boiling water, and cover. Cook until tender but still firm, about 2 to 6 minutes. Drain and cool.
Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.
Brush pie shells with beaten egg white. Sprinkle crumbled bacon and chopped asparagus into pie shells.
In a bowl, beat together eggs, cream, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Sprinkle Swiss cheese over bacon and asparagus. Pour egg mixture on top of cheese.
Bake uncovered in preheated oven until firm, about 35 to 40 minutes. Let cool to room temperature before serving.