BellaOnline Forums Education Homeschooling The True Lessons of Public School

I attended and graduated from one of Missouri�s top school districts. I graduated in the year 2000.

There were laws in place to insure that I received the education I was entitled to. Did I? No, I did not.

Yes I went to a pretty brick building and sat in a room with 29 other kids my age while an adult rambled on about a given subject for 45 minutes. That does not mean I learned what was being taught.

The school district was well aware of my struggles. The teachers knew something was wrong. My mother spent as much time at the school as she did at her job. The struggle cost her, her health and in the end she was no longer able to work.

In school I learned little, if anything, from the teachers on the subjects that they supposedly know so much about. That is not to say that I didn�t learn anything. I actually learned a lot and I will share a few of the things I learned:

I learned that I was stupid.

I know I am smart, I have seen the test scores. Regardless I still feel stupid and as of yet the knowledge that I am smart has yet to drive away that feeling.

I learned that because I was different I was crazy.

Now, I know better. I have autism.

I learned that my thoughts and opinions do not matter.

Now, I know my thoughts and opinions do matter. I will voice my thoughts and opinions. I will not be quieted just because what I have to say and what experienced goes against what people want to believe.

I will make myself heard.

I learned that trying to explain how I felt was a waste of time.

Now as an adult I have access to more outlets and I will express myself.

I learned that no matter how hard I tried to explain my wants and needs that I did not know myself well enough.

Now I know better. I know what I need and I now know how to make sure I get what I need.

I learned that if I tried to explain what was happening I was just being difficult.

Since I was the "bad kid" nothing I said or did mattered. The reasons behind why I acted a certain way were considered irrelevant. In other words, I didn�t matter.

I learned that it was ok for other "good" kids to lock me out of the classroom and to tease and torment me.

It is amazing how the school system allows bullying. It is amazing that a teacher was capable of not only allowing it but also encouraging this behavior in her students.

What lesson has she really taught? I can guarantee it didn�t pertain to her subject matter. The schools may say they have zero tolerance for bullying but that is not the reality. The reality is that the zero tolerance policy is nothing more then hollow words to pacify angry parents.

I learned that the teachers do not care.

If I send my child to the public school I will have to go through a lot of time consuming meetings and headaches to get my son out of the classroom of a teacher who does not care.

I learned that using my fists was the only way I could stop the other kids from tormenting me, even if it was only a temporary fix.

What else do you do when you have tried and failed to get teachers to stop the bullying? My tears didn�t stop it. My words didn�t stop it. Ignoring them only made them more determined. My fists stopped it. I learned to fight because adults failed me.

I learned that a fact of life is that life is Hell.

I am not talking about the standard school day boredom that comes after years of relearning the same material. I am talking about having to struggle to conform to standards that are beyond your abilities, day in and day out year after year.

I learned that I was "bad" if I acted in a similar way towards the "good" students as they acted towards me.

The rules only seemed to apply to those labeled the "bad kid". They can bully me and not get into trouble but if I bullied I was in trouble.

I learned that I was not capable of teaching myself.

I tried in every way I knew how to explain that I couldn�t learn in a regular classroom setting. I was told I couldn�t learn the material on my own.

I learned that learning is not something one should enjoy.

Learning is a chore for me, I do not experience the pure joy that my son experiences when he learns something new.

Wow. Diane, that was very moving. I have a kid in the spectrum, and I regret that we spent so many years trying to make him fit into the public school mold. It appears that you've found your niche now, and that you've learned to compensate or overcome many of your challenges. I only wish the journey had been easier for you.

best regards,

Lorel

Thank you for sharing your story, Diane. I think all of us who attended public school can relate to that even if we did not personally struggle in the same way that you did. In public school, there's just no room for differences. You either conform or you suffer the consequences. That is the main reason I've made my decision to homeschool above all others. I hated feeling self-consious all the time because I didn't have on the "right" clothes, I was "slow" if I couldn't understand something as quickly as others, or I was a nerd because I understood something more quickly than the others. I want my kids to know that they can do anything they set their minds to do and they'll never have to worry about being ridiculed, talked about, or ostricized for pursuing it.

So very true-public schools are just that: institutions that are for the general public-no allowance is made for "being different." No praise for being an individual.

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