BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Need advice...

I met a wonderful guy, but we live in different countries, I went to visit him for 2 weeks and I have been back for just over 2 months...We had a great time and love each other!

Here's what I need advice on...

He lives with his parents and they are old, I like them, but I think he is controlled by the mother quite a bit..

Whenever I bring up the question, when will be together again, he says we will be soon and not to worry...I'm not worried, but don't want to waste my time! He says he loves me and we are forever! I don't know when forever starts lol...When, I ask why are we waiting, he says he lives with his parents and has to see if they are okay with me being there, when I ask if they won't be, he said we will figure something out...Now, I know it's a big step and a big move for me, and I don't wanna rush into it, but I would also like to know when will we be together, as I have to plan for this...

I love him and we get along great! I just feel he hasn't grown up yet (he's 41) and I don't want so much time to go by, without planning or making steps to be together!

Can anyone offer advice on this!

btw it's always me who brings up the question, when will we be together? He does say, he sees me with him and he doesn't want anyone else, we are it, but we don't talk about when. Also, he went on vacation with his parents for 2 weeks, I feel that he should have came to visit me and meet my family, as I have done!

thanks,
franny

honestly..umm..dsnt seem worth it..yeah u love hm but u knw loves not alwys the answer for evry relationship..sometimes it isnt enuff..the distance is trouble..trust me, iv tryd bein patient wit a number of long distance relationships..nvr works..nd he's in his 40's wit his parents?? sorry bt dats jst sad..m sure ur a wonderful woman..find some1 u dnt need to keep askin for assurance..some1 hu'd remind u that he's ther 4u at all tyms..u'd probly ignore my advice, cuz dats what pipol in love do hehe..jst think about it..whatevers gud 4u..whatever makes u happy..

Hi,
This does not seem like a relationship to me at all. I would not waste my time. It is your choice but I would find someone who lives in the same area or at least the same country. I don't know why a 41 yr. old man is still living with his parents. Unless he takes care of them or he has some kind of problem. It sounds like he is just stringing you along. Does is really matter whether his mom is controlling him or not? The stituation sounds strange to me. It does not sound very good for you. I do agree with Rita Catrina that the long distance realtionships are too much trouble. The distance keeps it from being a real relationship where you both are interacting with each other on a regular basis. Love does not solve all problems. 2 people in love have to put the effort into things. It sounds to me that he is just fine & dandy with the way things are. This does not sound very good for you. Take care & have a good weekend. Judy from Chicago.

I have the same comment as the other two... for a MAN in his 40's, it's kinda weird that he still lives with his parents. Unless there is a good reason. Is there?

Based on what you've just said, I think that he's just not mature enough (!) to take your relationship to the next level. Okay, that seems ironic, but that's the way I see it. A person his age should be thinking of settling down and having a family of his own, not being continuously dependent on his parents (unless, as I've said, there is a good reason). I just hope he's not making his parents, or his mom, as an excuse not to settle down.

Try talking things over with your partner. Ask him if he has any qualms about taking your relationship to the next level. I know you love him dearly, but be ready for a reply that may not be good to hear. Just remember, if he truly wants it, he'll find a way for it to happen. If things don't go the way you expected, shed a few tears, then move on. Who knows, maybe the guy that's really for you is still out there... looking for you.

Honestly it does not look that this person is worth for your love. Give it up. You are probably wasting your time. If this guy loved you he would have tried the same as you have tried. GOD is there, you will find the right person. Remember there is a big life in front of you.. what if you get this person and then you don't find him loving you?