BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Beware of Religious Advice

The whole article talks about the woman honoring her husband, but what about the husband honoring his wife? It goes both ways. I know when dh and I said our vows we both promised to honor each other. And I'm sorry abusing your wife and children is NOT honoring them. And why would I want to have a romantic 3 minute conversation with someone who beat me or my children? This has to be written by a man.

I know it is written in the bible, please excuse me for not having the direct passage to look up, that uses the analogy of Jesus and the church when talking of how a husband should treat his wife and family. The husband is equated to Jesus and the family as the chucrch. Jesus takes care of the church, respects his followers, therefor a husband should treat his family as Jesus treats his followers. I am not Christian so I can't sit here and tell you every quote from the bible about how a man should treat his wife and children.

When I was seeking help to get away from my abuser, I avoided Christian orented places or people because after having 3 preachers/pastors tell me I should be a good wife and obey him, I was done. I was going to poke someone's eyes out if they told me that one more time.

I have only one query.

If a woman is supposed to be with her husband, what about the duties of the husband?

cd, I can't remember all the passages of the bible that teach what a husband is to provide for the wife and family. I am not Christian, I can not quote a text that I am not sure of or make assumptions of what is said in that text. I will have to look online to see if there are websites with the particular passages.

Jeanette

I believe that both partners should have equal duties towards each other.

I believe that too cd. ALthough with my husband I have to do extra housework because he is disabled and not able of doing certain things like cleaning the bathroom or standing to do dishes. When I wasn't working and he was going to college, I did all the housework but take out the garbage. Now I am working and he is part time in college, He does what he can and I pick up the slack.

Good understanding.

Ok here is something I found in Buddhism that speaks of the roles of husband and wife:

Dega nikaya, singalovada sutta
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"In five ways, young householder, should a wife as the West be ministered to by a husband:
(i) by being courteous to her,
(ii) by not despising her,
(iii) by being faithful to her,
(iv) by handing over authority to her,
(v) by providing her with adornments.
"The wife thus ministered to as the West by her husband shows her compassion to her husband in five ways:
(i) she performs her duties well,
(ii) she is hospitable to relations and attendants[n10]
(iii) she is faithful,
(iv) she protects what he brings,
(v) she is skilled and industrious in discharging her duties.
"In these five ways does the wife show her compassion to her husband who ministers to her as the West. Thus is the West covered by him and made safe and secure."

Attendants are guests in the home by the way. And in the text that this comes from West means the direction of West, not the West as in Europe and AMerica. Here is a link to the full text.

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This is good!

In India, during Hindu weddings, vows listing all this are exchanged. But very few remembers them!