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Is there any hope for abusive relationships? Does the abusive partner change?

Theoretically.

In order for a person to change they have to first see that there is something wrong with themselves, they have to have a desire to change themselves, and then they have to take the steps required to change.

The thing about abusive people is that they have usually convinced themselves that they are the abused, and therefore there is nothing wrong with them and everything wrong with you. Therefore, it is pretty rare that they ever change. Usually they go from one relationship to the next and their abuse excalates with each relationship.

The other aspect is that, for the abuser, there is great benefit to them to continue abusing and not much benefit to stopping. There are alot of perks for the abuser. Consider the family who shares chores; dad gets up from the table after dinner and starts watching TV, and daughter reminds him that its his turn to do the dishes that night; dad flips out and yells that he worked all day and she can damn well shut her mouth and stalks from the house. How soon do you think anyone in the family will be reminding him about chores?

Try reading "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. It is a nice insight into the mind of the abuser.

Dez

I back what Dez has said. An abuser can change, it is so very rare that it does happen. A person has to want to change in order to change. Getting them to admit that there is a problem is the hardest part. In a meeting I attended recently, the person giving a talk compared an abuser and their behavor to an alcoholic who is suffering from alcoholism. You can confront and alcoholic all you want that they have a drinking problem but they will usually deny it, just like an abuser. My abuser to this day will tell people "it wasn't that bad" when someone asks him if what I say is true. There is hope but the abuser has to want to stop the cycle.

Have you met a changed abuser?

The only one I have ever met is a local man who helps facilitate an anger management for men that have been court ordered to do it. The man spent about 2 years in jail himself for felonious assault against his wife. The programs he was forced to take in jail and as part of his probabtion changed him. Now he is a counselor for abusive men. Almost all of the abusers I have known have been alcoholics as well. When they stopped drinking, their abuse stopped. My uncle is one of those men and I also have an aunt who was an alcoholic and abused my cousins. When she stopped drinking, the abuse stopped. SO in my family the abuse had a lot to do with alcohol consumption.

Thanks.

Yes, the partner changes 100% but it will take you lot of time and energy....

The steps are as follows.
1. Keep a count of the number of abuses this person gives in a day..
2. Tell the count to your partner at the end of the day..
3. Tell that you are improving all the time
4. If you find the count has reduced by 1. Reciprocate with love. Do something special.
5. If the count has increased or is the same. Don't do the special thing.

It is not easy, but it will take lot of time.