BellaOnline Forums Family Addictions & Children 12 year old son

this is going to be kindof heavy but I need some feedback. Here goes. My son is daling with issues from early childhood. He was molested. Well lately he is showing acting out sexual behavior. Almost to the point of obssesion I dont know where to get help for him. I am afraid of him victimizing younger children. He has already acted out with his older sister. He fondled her while she was asleep. Help I dont know what to do

Your son's issues need more help that anyone here could offer. He needs to be in some sort of therapy so he can learn to deal with his past and to be a happy/healthy person.

If you take him to a doctor they should refer you to an approriate theropist. In the meantime you need to try and explain (to him) how this is un-acceptable and that he could land up in a lot of trouble.

There is a group based in San Francisco called San Francisco Sex Information, who you could talk to, and they also have a vast database to provide therapy referrals. I took their training program last spring.

They have a web site at http://www.sfsi.org
You can call their switchboard or send them an email.

If you can get your son psychological counseling now, you can stave off all sorts of problems. The part of abuse that usually does the most damage isn't so much the sex part as the power/control part. As kids enter puberty and start to gain control over their sense of self and place in society, their viewpoints and methods can be heavily skewed by abuse when they were younger.

- Rae

Yup, time for professional guidance, for your son who is the victim here.
Abuse and child hood trauma if not gently addressed early on can lead to so many other negative side effects and patterns.
Speaking from experience, child abuse creates, confusion of what love, trust and authenticity of healthy relationships are.
Way to go for reaching out and not ignoring the signs that your son's victimization is a haunt for him.
There is help...victims of childhood sexual trauma,and the other sources mentioned on these posts others reached out to you about.... and the cycle can be broken. There are also groups for parents of children who have experienced child hood sexual molestation and trauma's. If none in your area....you can always create one!? A professional will have some educated knowledge to any meetings or groups etc.
All the best to you and yours.
Thank you for being apart of the solution in stopping the cycle of violence and abuse....by reaching out and using your voice! So many times I have seen people blaming the victim! So thank you once again.
Chia
Namaste'

because of my childhood abuse if i got pregnant when i was 12yrs old i wouldn't of known who the baby father was, yes 12yrs old. i look at my 11yr old grand daughter and say to myself i was just a kid ,where was my mother, to this day i have a trust issue. no one got me any help no one cared i left home at 15 with a 24yr old married man. its up to you the parent to get your son some professional help, don't fail him by thinking its just something hes going thru. i wish you and your child the best good luck to u both

I agree. He obviously needs help with understanding and dealing with what has been done to him. He also needs to understand that the behavior he is showing is unacceptable and can get him into alot of trouble. If I were you, I would sit him down, as a mother, and explain to him how and why his behavior is unacceptable.

Your son's issues need more help that anyone here could offer. He needs to be in some sort of therapy so he can learn to deal with his past and to be a happy/healthy person.

Remember, too, that boys and girls need to be told about sex.

When they aren't told the good and truth about it, they feel alienated.

Talk to your son about what it's for and why. If all you tell him is that he's bad, he won't get a grip.

I hope you have a strong, decent male around your son at all times. They desperately need to model on someone. Much more so than girls in my opinion.

this is completely delayed but there is a place called the ranch for kids that helps with kids with these kinds of issues - usually adopted kids- but overall kids with severe issues. Through work and the care of animals the help them gain the skills they lack