BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids FYI, from truemomconfessions.com

"Why in hell would anyone look down on a stay-at-home dad? Why is taking care of kids only a worthy job when a woman does it?"

29 "me too"s

Amen! Maybe those 30 women should be mediators in the mommy wars. They could could bring parenting to the attention of men!

That said, I'm soooo glad that stuff will never be MY problem...

Another doozy just appeared:

"I wanted to have kids. I really wanted them. I would never have had kids just to have them. But now that I have them, I hate being a mother. I wish I hadn't had kids."

Yikes! What a living hell.

This reminds me of the ones that say they're counting the minutes till naptime or bedtime. I'm so relieved I didn't make that mistake and have to be living my life counting down minutes, or years till something is over.

Good point. When I envision parenthood, there's a lot of that involved.... outwaiting tantrums, bedtime stalling, high energy squealing, the terrible twos, potty training, adolescence...

Amen myra! I've always felt that the fact that SAHMs are praised by our culture and SAHDs are not sounds suspiciously like the prevailing messages in the Victorian era... "Women are the "angels of the home", they keep men from acting like beasts, inspire their husbands to be religious, work for temperance, etc etc...you already have such a wonderful and critical function, why on earth would you want to, say, vote?"

The idea is to disguise a prison as a pedestal.

I'm not running SAHMs down here- anyone, male or female, who freely chooses to stay home and raise their kids full time has my full support. (I couldn't do it; for me it WOULD be a prison. I'm sure it's not that way for everyone.) What I have a problem with is the propaganda surrounding the issue.

uh oh. you guys have gotten me addicted to truemomconfessions. this is my guilty pleasure while i sit on hold at work, or when clients ramble for 20 minutes and don't let me get a word in edgewise anyway.

what i don't get is the moms who confess that "i love my kids more than anything". i almost feel like they're lying, because that's not really a whopping confession. it's like they're saying that to make themselves feel better, and to make the others who post their worst feelings feel worse, even though it's anonymous. maybe i'm reading too much into it--i'm the champion of that these days.

i had a pregnancy scare in college (i was on the pill, but skipped my period somehow two months in a row and FREAKED.) my boyfriend said he would leave me if i had an abortion, so i told him to just leave me now and save us both the trouble. turns out i wasn't PG, and i never told him what the outcome was because my immature self wanted him to wonder forever.

after reading all that, i needed to confess something too.

I see what you mean, even if it might be reading too much into it. That website is like the frontlines of the Mommy Wars. People who confess really positive things always seem to be doing it in comparison to others, and it does seem to have an element of one-up-manship, like the "I am so lucky. My husband and kids are perfect and treat me like a queen and let me do whatever I want. I feel so sorry for the others here who don't have that." types of confessions.

If that's true for them, why bother anonymously confessing it? What possible satisfaction would someone get out of that besides making other people feel bad? It comes off as bragging IMO. I guess their point is to get the bragging out of their system anonymously since they can't really say that out loud (politely) to anyone's face. It's just kind of what I see the Mommy Wars being all about...keeping up appearances of being perfect so others will be jealous.

Of course, bragging that you love your children is much better in the big picture than confessing that you hate them. When people claim their children are perfect, I wonder at their confidence. How old are their kids? Do they really expect them to stay perfect like that?

i have no doubt that there are people out there who have their perfect life. Some people are great parents, have strong marriages and totally love their lives with kids.

But that's so boring to read. The train wreck stuff is so much more fun...

"06.29.07 3:01p
I'm going to leave. My bag's packed, the note's on the table, and the taxi's already on the way. I hope I never see any of them again; having children was the worst decision I ever made.

me too (0)

Well, better go for it everyone! See, you can get out of it if you really don't like it.

Zoinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so sad for these people because it is TOO late for them. The children are already here and now they all are SUFFERING now. Now, I am not saying that they all can't learn to make the best of it and maybe these troubling emotions will pass, but DAMN why didn't they at least do a "pro and con" list way before now. I am sad for them b/c I know how those kids may be feeling. We (my sister and I) were WANTED but my mom never let us forget how she suffered as a single parent and we only got to hear the resentment in her voice instead of this unconditional love that supposedly exist between mother and child. She does better with adult children but we endured a horrible childhood. So, if these parents don't get it together, their children will have horrible memories of a tormented childhood like my sister and myself.
For most of us, deciding to be a parent is a choice. Please people make a well informed decision, no matter which way it should take you.
And, please do share why those mothers that love the institution of parenthood are reading that website anyway. That is why those women needed that website b/c I am sure they felt they couldn't share that stuff with anyone else. They certainly don't need to be made to feel guilty on a website made for them.

Here's Another:

"I love my children, but I need so much more time for myself. Not to do laundry or go to the gym, but just to read and watch TV and create stuff...Of course, I get next to none of this, but I crave it constantly. I am SO BORED with motherhood, even though I know what I'm doing is valuable, and that my children deserve my time and attention. Still, it's KILLING me."

I would have been this women. I love having time to myself to LIVE my life. I would totally resent a child for not allowing me to invest in my own existence.