BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Parenthood makes you selfless??

So I know everyone's familiar with the idea that being cf is selfish, while parenthood teaches you not to be selfish.

My boyfriend and I are volunteering one day a week at a museum. I work in one area, while he works the front desk with a staff member. He and that person have a personality conflict. This week she told him something to the effect of, "I've always been a very selfish person. Though now that I'm a Mom, that selfishness extends to my child, somewhat".

I don't think selfish + 1 is any less selfish than a selfish person without child. That whole selfless thing doesn't apparently come to all parents. As if we didn't know that already

My boyfriend was pretty floored when she said that, though he was glad she acknowledged it about herself. Sadly, it doesn't sound like anything she'd like to work on.

A friend once told me her theory that sometimes when selfish people have kids, they don't necessarily become less selfish- they just start to see their kid as an extension of themselves, and therefore simply become selfish on the kid's behalf as well as their own.

She has kids herself, but I don't know if she was being self-referential. It was an interesting idea though. I think we've all seen the occasional parent who wants to make sure their kid gets the best/most of whatever limited resource is available, no matter what effect on other kids!

Yeah. And while I think it's vital for children to have a top notch advocate in their parent, I don't think that being selfish on behalf of a child makes a person any less selfish.

It's so fascinating all the myths we have in our culture AND how few people actually examine them.