BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Today i am grateful for...

yes. Gratitude is imp.

No, i think it's more primal than that. This year i've heard several new mothers say how a baby will fuss a lot less, feel more secure and be happier the more physical contact they have in their first year... they're talking about touch and closeness. The trend now is going back to keeping the baby close to the parents... a basinette within arm's reach of the parents' bed or a basket on the bed while they sleep... and using "snugglies" which are slings or papoose-like things to have the baby against the parent during much of the day. I think the evidence that this works is quite clear. The babies are happier and more easy-going. Interesting how "modern science" of the last century is reversing itself in many cases, and finding the wealth of wisdom that was in indigenous cultures.

Your question reminded me of when i was a little girl and i got a puppy. My mom didn't want the puppy sleeping with me, which of course was what i wanted. But the puppy was young and would whine endlessly if left alone in the area prepared for her. So my mom wrapped a clock in a soft towel and put it in the dog bed with the puppy. She said the sound would remind the puppy of it's mother's beating heart, and the puppy would feel better and less lonely. I don't remember if that worked or not, but it makes sense to me now.

I know that human touch and the sound of voices help me sleep more at ease. I sleep now with a big stuffed bunny in bed with me... don't laugh!!!... okay, you can laugh... it is kinda funny at my age, and it is, VERY PINK!!!! It was given to me a couple years ago and i was going to get rid of it when i thought of putting it in bed. It isn't as good as having a person there, but i think it helps some.

So i guess i'm saying i'm still of "puppy mind." hahahhahaha.

Holly, I was thinking of the same thing.
We all need somebody who we can touch.
Whose presence makes us feel secure.
I will pray for you that you get somebody soon.
I also sleep alone, but I have my mom and sons in my home.
You are all alone.

Loneliness is again tied up with insecurity.
That is where those who believe in higher power get some support.
To believe that we are never alone and God is always with us is a great gift.
But at times i also forget that Holly

Living alone is not so bad. I have been learning how to feel more secure on my own and that is good. There are sometimes moments when i'm tired of being alone and i think of calling my old boyfriend... he would be only too glad to step back into my life instantly, and marry me. He makes noises that he wants to. I wouldn't have to worry about money or anything. But i don't call him and i don't encourage him. He is a good person, and i like him and he is still a friend, but i know he isn't right for me as a partner. I don't feel bonded with him, and that is what i want... a soulmate. So you see, I have at least one option i don't take, so things are not so bad, being alone, that i will take any remedy for it.

I have a dream, of being with the right person and of our being in love and having deep friendship, and having a great family. I am stubborn and don't wish to give up my dream. I used to have a face on this "right person"... it was the face of a lost love from my past. I kept hoping when all reasonable expectation was gone. But i knew i should let that go of that particular dream and look for someone even better... someone who won't hurt me and won't abandon me when they get frightened. I can do better. And so can you, cd. You miss your love because it's the best love you have known and there was joy there at one time, but you can do better. Much better. You can have all the wonderful parts of that relationship without the lies and cruelty that came with it, and with a trustworthiness and partnership you have not yet known. And when you do find the right person, it will be so much better that you'll wonder why you ever wanted your past love who failed you.

First, i think, we need to work on our selves. To grieve and heal, and find new joys and pursuits in our lives, and new dreams. To start looking forward more, and backwards less. I find sometimes, helping others helps me let go of past hurts. It reminds me of the blessings i have today... i have my health, i have good friends :), i have a house, i have my talents which i am trying to put to more use. I have opportunities everywhere i turn: to learn, to create, to meet people, to enjoy natural resources, to do things like go to galleries or play soccer or go to films. Where is the bad, really, in my life now? Does it have a form? no. Is anyone hurting me now? no. Is it tangible in any way? no. Any pain i feel happens only when i reach into the past because i seek it. One day, i'll quit seeking it.

Bit by bit i'm replacing the old thoughts, the old pain and even the old joys, with new and current joys in my life. It's like the collage i told you about... I'm working on a new one. I found a picture of a house that looks very like my house now (except in the picture it doesn't need new paint.. hahah). And i found a photo of a kitchen very like my own... it is old, but looks sweet. There are flowers on the counter in the photo, so i put flowers on my counter. I will look for more photos of things within my reach, to put on the board. Things that make me feel happy when i see them.

I think you are ready to find something that helps ground you in the present, cd. I'm not suggesting you give up the past, only suggesting you find something that helps you orient to the good that's around you now, and the good you can bring into your life today and in the near future. I like a collage because it is visual... i can look at it and take in the whole idea in a moment, and i can have it beside my bed so i can see it as soon as i wake. It will remind me where i am today. But there are other things you might do... perhaps start a garden, or make something with great care like a piece of furniture or art. Or volunteer for some charity, particularly if you get to meet the people you are helping. Or perhaps just writing your goals/dreams down and posting them on the wall beside your computer so you see them all the time... a goal each for health, home, family, work, financial, love, and any expression of talent or place you'd like to travel to. I think you are ready, cd, to start adding good things into your life this very day.

Today I am grateful for being alive. I am thankful to God for sparing my life 2 years ago. I am thankful for healthcare professionals and facilities that work 24/7 to heal and save lives. I am thankful for modern technology that can find and cure illness using minimally invasive procedures. Today I am thankful for all things great and small.

Trish

Today I am grateful for a good friend that has helped me more than she really knows the past three weeks. I am grateful for my loving husband and four healthy children. I'm grateful that God is a Loving God. I'm grateful for my life today even though I don't feel up to par I know it too will pass in due time. I'm grateful that depression doesn't have to be a "dirty little secret" anymore. We don't need to feel ashamed because we're not feeling well.

Sue (nadaurz) made me laugh today when she shared that she's been painting... and painting... and painting! (see the Quit Smoking thread).

My cat made me smile when i saw him sleeping in an absolutely impossible position! He could have slept anywhere on the soft bed, but instead hung himself over the edge of a cardboard box that i'd set on the bed, not IN it, but over the edge, draped like a rag and sleeping on top of his face!

Sheila made me laugh today too. We had a new college student (Becky?) show up to knitting group... she only just learned to knit this summer and she's already doing fancy stuff like color-stranding. Sheila who comes to Tuesday night classes, said about 8 times, "Becky, you're welcome at any of the classes. But not Tuesday!" It made us all laugh every time!!!

Holly. Do not ever give up your dream.

I won't if you won't! :P