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She seems to think it's highly unlikely given her age that she would get pregnant. I am someone that is always on the pill (currently using the ring) and I make my guy use a c, too. I REALLY don't want kids!

Is it really that unlikely that she will get pregnant? I KNOW her husband won't be thrilled to have kids when his are finally in their 20s. I know they are married, but she's 42. She feels the same way I do (about kids), and I'm just stunned that she's taking this approach. Does anyone know, how hard is it to get pregnant in your 40s? I know it's more difficult. I tried to find some stats online, but didn't find what I was looking for.

It probably doesn't matter - she's going to do what she wants. She's really smart, talented and successful. This doesn't sound like her at all.

Okay, I found something that said your chances of getting pregnant after 40 are 50%. That sure isn't low enough for me. That can't be right.

But then I found this... I don't how reliable this info is, but it says 50% of babies born to women over 42 result in miscarriages or stillbirths. I don't think the women that I know that are conceiving later know about this.
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happy, I'm sort of in the same boat as your friend. I'm also 42. I've been married 13 years, was on the pill reliably for 20 yrs. I started being less stringent when I stopped having periods, which I haven't had in over 2 years. I also have thyroid issues. Further, there is a long history of female infertility in my family (all my cousins are infertile, mom/aunt/grma had their kids young and then had hyst. due to endometriosis, cysts, etc). And I have some scarring from an old surgery and some other internal abnormalities. I was told a long (long) time ago that if I ever DID want kids, I would have difficulties. In our entire life together, I have only had one true preg. "scare" (back when we were still undecided).

Is it possible your friend has something like this to make her think she's not likely to get preg?

I don't know why one would even bother checking out the likelihood of getting pregnant after age 40. If you are off the pill and you have not experienced menopause - you can get pregnant!

It is pretty well established that you encounter more complications and risk harm to your own health and the health of any child when you get pregnant later in life. I cannot fathom how your friend, having been so adamant, would want to play this game of roulette with her life!

As opposed to a creeping whiff of maternal instincts, might it be a mid-life crisis type thing? Or is that all one big ball that all goes together?

Maybe there is something subliminal going on where she might be worrying about how nature will affect the life she enjoys now. Maybe she's subconciously trying to provoke nature by saying "yeah, but I'm not too old to have a kid." I don't know your friend and don't wish to offend with my speculations. Just thinking out loud.

Yeah...that seems pretty irresponsible. If she really doesn't want a child won't she be stressed about it? Is she going to use abortion as birth control? I hope she uses something...unless she does want a child. There are quite a lot of people who seem to think early 40's is still fair game.

Hi Tbunny,

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about all of the health problems you have had. I would probably be lax with bc, too, if my doc told me I would have "difficulties," so I can see where you are coming from with your approach.

I think my friend thinks she is nearing menopause, and I believe she said there have been physical signs that she's almost there.
We have talked about this stuff pretty openly, and she never mentioned an inability to get pregnant, or any health problems. But, like a lot of us, she knew pretty early on it wasn't something she wanted to do. I just feel like saying, you are in the home stretch - you've been so careful. Don't mess up now, you know?

I will be so upset if she gets pregnant. I know it's not about me, but we should be able to have some female friends to hang out with, Jes!

happy, I don't even think of myself as having health "problems" because none of these things have impeded my life (rather, being CF has enhanced my ability to travel, etc). I probably should be more diligent because at this point, I would freak out if I ended up pregnant!

Well, you could approach the subject of her overall health. If she's having physical "signs" you could always encourage her to talk to her doctor about having blood testing done to confirm that she is pre-menopausal (that's actually how my doctor first found my thyroid problem). And if she is, then there are other health factors that she'll need to consider (bone density for one).

Although it's less likely that a woman will get pregnant after 40, it's still very possible. In fact, ovulation often goes awry as menopause approaches. A friend's mother got pregnant at 45 in the middle of her period. Also, I was surprised by the number of women in that age group that came in when I worked in an abortion clinic.

She is either secretly hoping for pregnancy or just plain ignorant.

That's not too smart. Women can have kids into their 50s; you never know. I don't know what type of bc she is on, but the pill has been around for ages, and I've never heard of any bizarre health cases related to a woman using it all of her reproductive life. I believe only those types with higher hormone content would be riskier, such as Depo-Provera. By the way, I used to get the Depo shot and had a lot of yucky side effects (Don't use it, ladies!!). Also, it is known to contribute to bone density loss. I'm on the pill now, and it agrees with me a lot better.

I used Depo for years and loved it. My best side effect was no periods. I heard about the bone density loss thing (it's a minor risk actually) but decided to go to the pill.

Depo is different for different people. Some have bad side effects, some have no problems. The only way to find out is to try it, but then you're committed to it for 12 weeks.

By the way, a friend of mine was born when her mom was 45 (probably a menopause "oops" baby)! Her closest-in-age sibling is about 8 or 9 years older than her.

Cindy