BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids a little observation

Have you ever noticed how people define themselves on their internet names ... many by a name like "Johnnysmum" or "mommyof3" ... or even "CraigsWife" or "JohnnyDeppsWoman" (oops, was that 35 or so members of this board?) Just interesting how I notice alot of women define themselves by their relationships or by being moms. I don't know if that's as common for men?

Just an observation.

Andie

My internet name is two of my dog's names! Oh no!!! LOL! I decided not to add my third dog's name to it when we acquired him, to preserve some semblance of sanity and not to have to type so much! LOL!

I had a friend who after she had her son, changed her email address to Mom4John@....com (John not being the child's actual name, just an example.)

Cindy

I think I remember seeing some study where yes, they concluded that women tend to define themselves by their relationships to others (mother, wife, girlfriend) and men tend to define themselves by their careers.

If that's the case, I'm off the beaten path. I think of myself as a scientist who happens to be married, not as a wife who happens to work.

Personally, I've always thought it sad that many women seem to lose their identities as they get older. They become Mrs. John Smith or "Johnny's mom". Sometimes husbands even start calling their spouse "mom" instead of by their first name (YUCK).

I just want to be ME, not somebody's mom or somebody's wife.
I guess I can add this to my very long list of reasons not to have kids.

Our street had a block party this weekend and one of the neighbors was saying just that - she'd been S's "wife" or T's mom" for so long that it was hard to think outside that box (kids are now in college). She was not a SAHM, either.

I guess I'd prefer to define myself by my interests (obviously, bunnies). I don't mind *being* DH's "wife" but to define myself by that creeps me out. I'm a lot of things, and that's just one of them.

I think it has more to do with how society treats us as wives or mothers than our desire to define ourselves that way. If you have a child, with or without a spouse, every treacher calls you "Mrs". Or introduces you to the class, "And this is Jessie's Mommy..." (Kindergarten, preschool). And really, being called "Mommy" all day does have a certain psychological effect on you.

As for screen names, yes I've noticed that pattern too. I am not one of them. I've been "dezcordero" online since I was 16, and is the pen name I will use if I ever write my novel I refuse to lose who I am to my kids, I think they will respect me more when they understand I am a person besides just "mommy".

Dez

[quote=Cookiecody]My internet name is two of my dog's names! Oh no!!! LOL!

Cindy ... that's funny. I understand because my passwords are pet names too ... LOL!

Oh yes and you see it a lot if you go to parenting boards. I have also noticed it on car tags too. I always seem to run into one particular mom ------ GR8MOM-----ICK!!!!

Okay, I guess my screen name here refers to my lack of children. But I have never participated in a forum before, and just picked something really fast.

But, yeah, I won't be a Mrs. when I get married. I love my name, and don't want to change it.

When my nephew had his b-day party, I referred to someone as Alex's Mom, b/c I couldn't remember her name. And then I asked for her name again, and she said she was content being Alex's Mom. Which sounds sweet at first blush, but then it does kind of rob her of her own identity.

She's actually a really good Mom, though, so I will let that slide.

I don't get it either. I participate on a few other forums and I'd say most people there identify themselves by things like Mom2my4girls or Susiesmama. It never got on my nerves but it is so hard to remember who is whom sometimes when they don't have usernames that identify who they are or what their interests are. And it is not like I know their children either.

How sad it must be to have your entire identity revolve around being a parent. Maybe some people enjoy living that way. I am a Mrs and I did change my name however I'd prefer if people called me Ms. or used my first name when conversing with me.