Hi Dez,
I am so sorry to hear about your experience with your ex, but I give you so much credit for ultimately getting away from him. I know there are a lot of idiots out there that say "why didn't she leave him" about abused women. What they don't understand is that it isn't always that simple. And, abusive men don't always let the women in their lives go easily.
I can completely understand where you are coming from. I think a lot of women feel that way. Many women, it seems, have abortions if they get pregnant earlier in life, if they aren't in a position to care for kids yet. And then welcome children later.
From your earlier post, I know that you love the children you already have.
Especially since your ex was aggressive, an abortion or a miscarriage would be your only way out.
It's completely understandable that you wouldn't want to have another child with someone like this. And these are exactly the type of men that aren't sensitive about their partner's needs, and willing to use birth control.
My grandmother was abused by my grandfather, and she could never really get away from him. So sad. For this reason, I will always keep a separate bank account and have my own money through working. I love my fiance dearly, and he has never ever showed signs of being this way, but I have learned through my grandmother that you must always have a back up plan in case you have to leave.
I get really mad when the right wingers take a stand on abortion, when they don't understand that many women are in relationships with men that won't allow them to use birth control. They just don't get it, and it infuriates me.
And then these poor women are forced to raise children they never wanted in the first place.
I say all of this to say, I understand. And I feel for you.
Good luck. I hope you are able to keep your children and yourself away from this man permanently.
