BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Dr. assumed I had a kid

A couple of months ago I saw a dermatologist to have a pre-cancerous lesion removed from my face. The area is still red, and today I had an appointment with him, so I asked him about it. In an effort to explain the healing process, he asked, "Do you have stretch marks from when you were pregnant?" I replied that I had never been pregnant and he didn't miss a beat as he proceeded to explain about new blood vessels forming, etc, etc.

I wasn't upset, but I was (and still am) incredulous that a doctor would just assume that I've had a child. Does he also assume that all men are fathers? It's one thing when some jerk at a dinner party makes assumptions about you, but a DOCTOR? You'd think he'd know better.

Just felt like sharing - I know you guys will understand.

Jerk. Although, understandable. I mean, you ARE a woman.

It's times like these I would LOVE to come back with a statement like, "actually, I've never been pregnant. My uterus was damaged in a tragic accident and I'll never be able to have kids, thanks for the reminder."

If this happens to me, I'd like to say "Why would you think I've been pregnant? Is it my weight?" Put him on the spot. (While I normally carry about 10 more pounds than I wished I did, I'm not overweight, and it'd be interesting to see someone try to recover from that rude assumption!)

Unfortunately, I carry my extra weight in my belly, and if I'm bloated at all, and wear the right clingy clothes, I can sometimes have a "bump" and a couple of embarrassing times have been asked if I were pregnant! One woman (a coworker) couldn't believe it when I assured her I wasn't and didn't ever want to be!

Cindy

I always have that bump. But I'm working on it.

Summer, your Dr. is evil and should be smacked.

I have a little belly pudge, too but I'm finally starting to drop a little weight. I just hope I drop enough before my next visit to the ob/gyn. She's a chubby little woman who nags me about my weight. Ugh.

For the record, I'm 5'2 and about 165 lbs -on the verge of obese according to the BMI charts. But I'm big boned and I've always been very muscular. I've got a little extra chub in a couple of places -like the belly bump, but I don't have much more than about 15 lbs of fat to lose.

I could pick up that round little woman and throw her. (Literally. If I can lift a 200 lb man, I can lift her!) But she nags every year. She keeps asking when I'm going to drop a few pounds, get hitched, and start coming to see her more often... I'm in my mid-twenties, pretty healthy, and have an ob/gyn who spends a lot of time in delivery rooms. You can guess what she has in mind by wanting to see me more often.

I get my revenge every year, though. After the weight and marriage talk, she asks if I have any thing I want to discuss. I just tell her to give me what I came for: my ticket to another year of happiness (a renewed prescription for my BC pills)!

That bloaty belly bump can sometimes be helped by taking lots of probiotics. You also want to stay away from soda and drink lots of water.

Although I understand why you are irritated, I am not the least bit surprised that this doctor assumed you have a kid. Most doctors I know are your traditional family AND kids-oriented people. They cannot eve begin to imagine that other people lead lives outside of the "norms" these doctors believe exist.

Ingilbert, you're right. It's simply because I'm a woman. That's what's so irritating about it.

Cookiecody, it would have been fun to put him on the spot. I was too stunned to think that quickly! He's very lucky I'm not trying to get pregnant and having trouble - I could have burst into tears. (I think that makes most men *very* uncomfortable!)

Well, I could respond....
"Well, I do have stretch marks and NO children and I will thank you kindly not to ever mention them again."
Or...."well, I have never been pregnant but I had been nuturing a family of uterine fibroids in my womb {I call the largest one of 22 cm 'Simon'} and am now infertile thanks to a procedure recommended by my ob/gyn."

That was pretty odd of him to just ask about your stretchmarks from "when you were pregnant". There are lots of odd people out there who have no tact when they speak...

Case in point: The other day, one of the housekeeping staff who cleans the area of the building our offices are in was emptying my trash as I was eating some lunch. I know her only well enough to say casual things like "Hi", "How are you doing?", and talk about the weather. Yet somehow, she decided to out of the blue, when we weren't really even chatting at all, ask me when I was having kids. I was just dumbfounded. She doesn't know me from Adam, and I just don't know where that came from. Like it would be her business anyway? It was just odd. Had to share it here with people who understand!