BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Feeling Invisible

Where can you read the "Childfree Me" blog? Sounds great!

Cindy

It is great! It's at:

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I totally understand how you feel - the same thing happens to me with e-mailing, etc. I feel like I am always the one making extra effort to stay in touch with friends and keep them updated, but when it comes time for them to reciprocate, nothing except stupid forwards that I could care less about.

Case in point: Our friends that recently had their first child who said nothing would change (and everything did) send new pictures of their daughter in e-mail. Whenever I used to e-mail back and say how cute she was and give them a quick update on us and ask how they were doing, I never got any response back, so I've simply stopped trying. Another friend of ours who recently had her first child was confined to bedrest for the last part of her pregnancy, and I sent her an e-mail asking how everything was going, etc., during that time, as well as an update on the many big events that happened to us during the end of 2006 (it was very eventful - a lot of those events weren't so good - family health problems, etc. - ones you need support from your friends on, sometimes), and I figured that since she had time to actually read, go online, etc., on bedrest, she might reply back. Nope. Any time she e-mailed, I would always reply and expect a reply back in return, and I got nothing. Once again, I've given up.

I never hold my breath waiting on friends to reply back to e-mails, but I am happily surprised when someone finally drops me a line. I do have a MySpace page that I go on every now and then, and the friends that actually do keep in touch message me every now and then, and that works pretty well. I think that people with kids don't realize that we're all busy, no matter if we choose to have kids or not! I have to just let it roll off my back, and realize that as a Gemini, I am more apt to want to communicate with people....

I just was talking to my husband last night about this. People make time for who they want to make time for. Simple as that. People set their own schedules and priorities.

We have friends that are just 'expecting', wife doesn't work at all....and they have been supposed to visit us, at their own request, since the end of March (they live w/in driving distance). Well, they just never showed up in March. Made not even a single phone call or email to me when I had surgery or after...now they are supposed to be coming this weekend...it's Wednesday and haven't heard any confirmation as to whether or not they are actually coming this time. A little notice would be nice. Do they just think we are waiting with bated breath for them to swoop in whenever the mood actually strikes them? I really don't want them to come now. Tired of calling/writing....'duh, are you actually coming this time???' How will it be when the friggin baby comes?....hmmm....bet never hear from them again, ever.

Have another couple friend(s) who live a few hours away. Been over to visit them twice since moving to the area. They have made no effort to come see us, despite the invitation. They do, however, come into town to shop the ONE weekend we are actually gone. Now they are moving halfway across the country in a few weeks....but want me to pop into town (3 hrs away) to have lunch and drive back. Oh, like I have nothing to do and I'm expected to make all the effort all the time b/c I have no human kids!

We call these people a little too "into their own program". I just find it rude and inconsiderate. Some friends. I give up. Sorry to ramble. Frustrated.

PMO:

I have had *very* similar experiences. I have an SAHM friend that even admits she's bad at keeping in touch. She was like that even before the kids came along, and she was at home then, too. Okay, you are home all day long, and you can't send an e-mail?

The one-side nature of some friendships really gets to me, too. It's like they are delusional. It isn't a matter of perception, it's a matter of fact if you have visited them more than they have visited you.

My family is like that, too. One of my cousins moved to our city to go to school. She never called or visited once! But when it was time for her baby shower, I was expected to schlep to New York for her.

I didn't go, and I'm pretty sure my aunt is peeved about it. I hope she says something about it, because I will go off.