BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids another d@*n baby shower

Hey y'all, been quite a while since I've posted. New site is more difficult to navigate...guess I'm just not used to it yet. I just wanted to vent a little. My THIRTY-SEVEN year old cousin, who of course I haven't talked to 5 times in 15 years, is having a baaaaaaabeeeeee. And lucky, lucky me got an invitation to the baaaaabeeeee worship...err uh...shower.

My mom of course gets an invitation too and everyone and anyone else who has a pulse. Oddly enough, my mom is HOUNDING me to go to this thing, when she KNOWS how much I detest baby showers. She just is not taking NO for an answer. The guilt-trip she's putting on me is ridiculous. My mom has never been like this before and has always been really supportive on my stance with regards to children etc.

I just wanted to vent a little and scream to people who understand. I have better things to do on my Sunday then waste my time and money on a baby shower. My garden is huge this year and requires a lot of tending, I have twice the flowers I did last year and I just love being outside; checking Bluebird boxes, filling Hummingbird feeders, cleaning out Butterfly and bird baths...sheesh...LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Whew! I feel better, thanks y'all.

Fire

I'd send her a card (by mail) and maybe a small amount gift card to her favorite baby store, and be done with it. No need to show up! Baby showers make me uncomfortable too! I just can't ooh and awww over breast pumps and packages of diapers! LOL!

Cindy

I know it's bad, but sometimes you have to do it. Lie to your mom and tell her you're planning to go, then just don't go.

That will get her off your back for a little while, then tell her you honestly planned to go but at the last minute weren't feeling up to it so you're going to drop your gift off later in the week. For this plan to work you actually have to buy the gift as if you were going to go and give it in person.

I agree with Cindy's suggestion.

Why should you have to feel obligated to go to something you have absolutely no desire to go to, and made to feel guiltyt about your decision, especially if it's not someone you're close with?
Maybe if it was your best friend or sister, then you'd probably make a bigger effort...

I love how other people always seem to want to dictate your life: it's called control. I'm sorry Fire, I don't mean to insult your mother, but she is not showing you or your choices respect. She is imposing herself, her wants, and crossing your boundaries.

piscean...you are not offending me one bit, you're absolutely right! She is not respecting my boundaries, plain and simple. I usually stick with my decisions, and have every intention of being in my garden at 2 o'clock in the afternoon on Sunday, May 20th 2007 while mom shakes her head in embarrassment at my absence.

I love her, but sorry, this is something I'm just not willing to compromise on. I have compromised on many an occasion to appease her and make her happy. This just isn't going to be one of them.

Thank you everyone for your support.

Fire, I feel the same way about baby or bridal showers/weddings in general. They are boring, EXCEPT when it's for a close friend or family member that you actually see more than once every ten years. I just received an invite to a bridal shower for a second cousin that I haven't seen in YEARS. I am thrilled that someone related to me is getting married, and I feel a twinge of guilt that I probably won't go (I work most Sundays anyway). However, I feel no real obligation to attend and neither should you. I feel you are obligated to attend one of these functions if you are either very close friends or immediate family because of feelings that would be hurt. Distant relatives can be "blown off" (for lack of a better term) with a decent excuse. I'm sure that even Miss Manners would tell you that an invitation, though nice, does not translate into a requirement to attend anything.

I completely relate! They are AWFUL!

I don't go anymore. I feel conflicted over not going, and I know one of my aunts has seemed miffed that I don't go to all of that [censored]. But if she was CF, and everyone else was baby crazy, she wouldn't want to go either.

My Mom doesn't do that with baby showers so much, but we still argue every time a wedding invitation comes through. I just found out I'm off the hook for a wedding this summer! Yes!

I know some people get offended when they don't get invited. I'm thrilled.

I have to REALLY like someone to go through that for them!

Perfectly acceptable to send a gift, and not go. That's how I've been handling it. It's bad enough we have to spend money on their babies, we shouldn't have to lose our free time, too.

After all, that's why so many of us don't have kids, we enjoy our free time!

Last night we went by a park where little leagues play. Practice was going on and tons of parents were flocking around the place, in the bleachers, picking up their kids, swarming the parking lot. I was trying to picture myself doing that, and talk about something that seems about as unappealing to me as a baby shower! I would need to get a personality transplant. Or maybe I would be so blinded by pride I'd like it.

Welcome back, fireandice!

I'm no fan of baby showers, either. I'd especially hate to be at one for a 37-year-old, as everyone would be in my face saying "Seeeeeee ... SHE did it! Now it's your turn!" Bleah.

I figure people who aren't close to me invite me to be polite and won't be terribly upset if I'm not there.

hello again bassgrrl, thanks for the welcome!

Well, that's what I told my mom...that they wouldn't even miss me there will be so many doting people around. And if anyone is stupid enough to tempt me with the "see, you can have babies older"! garbage, I will seize the opportunity, look at them as I take a swig of my mimosa, and say: "I'm sterile", and watch their facial expressions change from condenscendingly probing, to utter shock at my bluntness.

Oh I can just hear all the gasps, 'ohs' and 'ahs' as she opens gifts of plastic throw away bottle bags and breast feeding bras....YAK!! No thanks, I'll pass