BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Birthdays

Hi again,

My adult DS told my 7 y.o. she would take him to a toy store for his b-day present. His b-day was a month ago. He reminded her at least twice, but she was going shopping w/ a friend once, and to the beach on another occasion.

Anyway, I told him not to ask again and he obeyed. However, the other day, she told my youngest, 3 today, "Thurs. is your b-day! I'm going to take you to Toys 'R Us so you pick out a present!" My oldest looked on. Anyway, she didn't, and I was happy that she didn't show w/ a gift tonight as my oldest would have been crushed.

This is the SD that won't move out and that I had the friction with a month ago. DH is stalling in talking to her about a 'plan' and I'm losing patience, esp. when she's been here 5.5 months, hasn't paid a bill or offered a cent our way, and now hasn't been able to even buy a little toy for her brothers' birthdays as promised.

I was really relieved that she didn't come up w/ a gift for the baby. (She treats the oldest worse than the other two so I didn't want another slight to him.) Our middle son will turn 5 next month and if I hear this promise of a toy store shopping spree, I'm going to faint. I'd love to say, "Please don't promise the boys anything like that unless you intend to go through w/ it. If you cannot, and I know you're saving $ for your own place, then just let it go. They don't expect anything until you mention that you want to take them shopping, then they're disappointed when it doesn't happen..." but I'm too unassertive.

We have been getting along fairly well since the argument as she has been more diligent w/ her laundry. But, it hurts to see your kids disappointed and at this age, they are.

Any advice on either getting DH to speak w/ her about getting a place by July 31 or about this b-day issue should she come up w/ the same junk for the middle son?

Thanks.

your right hte kid shoudlnt' ask about it but you should speak to her about the issue - and tell her if she doesn't have the money that is fine why doesn't she take the kids out (both of them) for a special "b-day day" that includes tons of fun things they don't get to normally do - like just playing with her at the park or fishing if htey like that or playing a game of soccer

Mindy,

It is tough to believe she doesn't have any money, making $35K/yr and not paying any bills or rent!

I'm just annoyed as she pulled this [censored] w/ my Dear Nephews, whom I raised druing their elem. years - it was w/ beach sandals they wanted. She volunteered to get them for the boys and told me on Christmas Eve at 10:00pm that she 'forgot.' Every gift I've ever given her or her sister has been returned, despite it being specifically asked for by them. So, I'm just through at the moment.

I just got a call from my renter that his last day is 5/31 and if DH won't speak to her about moving there, I will! Of course, I'll probably be here every week whining that she won't pay the rent....it's almost worth it to get her out of my house at this point. My 7 y.o. asked why she never took him to the toy store. I said, "I'm sorry and I don't know why. It isn't nice to say you're going to do something for someone unless you really will. Remember that in life."

Dana