BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings 'Step-siblings" Romantically Involved - Your say

First of all, I think you need to find out for yourself whether you two guys want to get together, and how serious this could be....

Secondly, you need to talk to your mum...her perception of your step-brother is bound to be different to yours, but that's not your problem.
The fact is,and the fact remains that:
1) You are not related, and
2) You are both consenting adults.

If it looks like you two might be seriously attracted, then that's something she may have to learn to deal with.
If this is all tentative and 'just supposing'....then maye you need to also broaden your horizons a bit to nearer home....?

That's it really....

I agree with this 100% & couldn't of said it better myself.

Again, I'm the original poster of this topic and it seems that every month there's a new person that is in a similar situation that discovers this thread. So why again is this so taboo? (sarcasm)

Well,

i talked to my stepsister and my family, i feel as though i got less cleared up with my stepsister than i did with the rest of my family, i at least know where i stand with the family, but not so much with her. My brother said he thinks i need to get over it and move on, his wife(who happens to also be his stepsister(the sister of the stepsister i'm in love with)) is fine with me and my stepsister being involved. My real sister takes the same position as my brother. My dad and my stepmom actually wish that my stepsister and i would get back togethor despite them being against it in years past. They said that we seem to have alot of chemistry and lose time when we are togethor, spending hours just talking. They said that i'm extremely good with her children and they like me more than they like thier father's. And they said they think that i'm capable of treating Her and her kids better than anyone else they've seen her with. Now as far as where i stand with her, i'm a little confused. She admitted that love and her children are a minimal reason to why she stays with her jerk boyfriend. The bigger reason is comfort, she's been with him for almost 3 years and is afraid to give up a relationship that she's comfortable in, regardless of whether she's happy or not. She also admitted that there are some issues she's dealing with, medically and mentally that only her boyfriend and sister know about, which means that her self esteem is kind of low and she doesnt think anyone else would want her if they knew about the issues. She did say that she still loves me, and she still thinks about me and worries about me. She said that if she does get the courage to leave her relationship, she would want to be alone for a while. I had told her that i thought about her everyday since i had joined the air force 2 years ago, and that i knew that she didnt want to get married but that i felt that she is the only girl i've ever met that has been worthy of marrying(though i didnt ask her). She explained that she really did want to get married, just that she was looking for someone who really understands what marriage is supposed to mean, it's not a joke, it's not just love, it's everything and that she wants to marry a man that understands that if you go into marriage because of love alone and not expecting the rest, then it will fail, i made the point that after all of the bad things that we have put each other through, i'm still in love and still feel the same as i used to. The conversation got cut short by an interruption from another family member so we never got to finish, therefore i still have no idea where i stand with her. I came back to nebraska from my vacation home and am not sure if i should try to finish the conversation over the phone or on the internet or not at all, i usually don't like to do that since phone and interet is kind of impersonal, but would really like to finish the conversation, and feel as though i need to. What do you guys think?

well i think that even though you dont like the phone or internet conversations, thats the only way your going to get an instant answer-if you want an answer right now... but i personally prefer internet emails because someone once told me that people tend to be more honest and open about feelings over emails and text messages than face to face confrontations (sp?) and phone calls.

Well I saw my friend over the holidays & got an update about what's going on between him & that stepsister of his.
He went over to his dad's Christmas night & she was there.
He said that she gave him a hug, wished him a Merry Christmas and the within minutes went into her younger sister's room upstairs to lay down because she wasn't feeling well. She came down for dinner, watch some people open gifts, and then went home. He said they barely talked at all. He found out from her mother that she broke up with that rich boyfriend and moved into her own apartment with roommates. Her mom says that this boyfriend spoiled her, they both ran up credit card bills, then of course started fighting over money. So now she's in this apartment sleeping on an air matress, has no stove & very little furniture altogether. My friend says he knows where he can get good appliances & furniture for next to nothing. Says his landlord has a whole warehouse of stuff that he can just help himself to. So in about 2 weeks I'm going to help him load up a van with as much stuff as possible and we're going to deliver it to her by surprise.
He told me that all he wants to get out of this favor is that she really starts seeing him as the only guy who would always be there for her not just to spoil her, but when it really matters. I told him that I though it was a good gesture on his part because when he told me that, I realized that he's doing this favor for her because he really loves her & cares for her. What do you guys think?

with my story we just split up after pretty much living together on accident for 7 months even though we werent sexualy active or even very intimate she just wanted to try to get used to the fact of it all and ended up she just cant get past that reality
i guess the fact that we did live together for a total of 5 years off and on bothers her even though i always kept my distance and didnt develope that brother and stepsister relationship i dont know you guys everyones story is different and the truth is we can only read what is on here and nobody is really telling the whole story im sure so its hard for me to give any advice but it does help me to know there is alot of other ppl going threw the same similar thing ....which i dont guess i am anymore

I am a little late on this comment, but better late than never. First off I just wanted to say that it's a huge comfort to know that I am not the only one dealing with this situation. I felt that I was the only one going through this situation and after reading everyone's comment, I feel a lot better that people are supportive of what people are going though.
Well my situation is my mom and I met my boyfriend and his dad at a party. My boyfriend and I (I was in my early 20's and him in his late 20's) started talking and got to know each other but before we knew it my mom and his dad were at the justice of peace getting married. We never told anyone that we were together b/c for me I didn't know how my mom would react, how people around us would react and if what I was doing being with him was morally and spritually wrong. People speculated but after 4 years I finally told my friends, my mom and his dad. It was a huge weight off my shoulder and everyone was very supportive. My mom told me not to base my relationship on her's and her husbands meaning if there was a problem in my relationship she wouldn't treat him any differently if we broke up.
We've been together for almost 7+ years now and very happy and hopefully one day get married. There is one thing that is bothering me though but at this moment I feel like my comment is too long and I will comment on it in a few days. Thanks for listening!

It's good to know that you're friends and family are supportive in your situation. To me, the relationship you're in is no big deal, and there should be no good reason whatsoever why people shouldn't be supportive.
I'm the one who started this thread & I am also surprised on how big it has gotten with the amount of different people in this type of relationship.
I always check this thread whenever I get a chance, so I'm interested in reading further what is bothering you. Hopefully we can be of some help!

I would love to hear stories about relationships that end on a happy note...anyone have stories?

They're out there. Separate from my friends situation, my other friend's wife told me that she knew of 2 people from her hometown that were stepsiblings since they were teenagers.
After they both moved out of the house separately, they started hanging out with each other, and had the same group of friends too. They started dating, and now are happily married with 2 kids of their own. I don't know anymore details as far as how their family members and friends reacted, but I'm guessing most of them were cool about it.
I think most people are pretty level-headed and would be cool with it, so it's suprises me when some people aren't. So if you guys are in this type of relationship, I would be open, honest, and up front about it right from the start. There really isn't any reason not to, because you're not doing anything morally wrong. It's only ethically wrong if you 2 are pretty young and still living under the parent(s) roof.

My dad also became remarried to a woman who has a very pretty daughter. I wouldn't date her or get involved with her for no other reason than the fact that I know we wouldn't be compatible.
But if she had a much better personality and was more confident and mature, I would definitely consider it. It's a shame that she isn't as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside...she would be one hell of a woman. Then I too would probably find myself in the same situation as my friend and all of you.