BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids No Right to Make Observations about Parenting?

One of my friends (childfree) posted an article on her blog about parents who kept increasing the dosage on their child's prescription (special needs), which eventually resulted in her death.

The article made it clear that the parents knew exactly what they were doing. The article also implied that the parents did it in order to keep the child quiet and sedated...like the child was a nuisance that needed to be drugged into oblivion to make the parents' lives easier.

So I made the comment on her blog that it's parents like that who probably never wanted children in the first place, and sadly, that often seems (to me) to be the case when things like this happen. It seemed logical to me.

So why am I getting nasty comments? Is it really that inconceivable that some parents might not actually want to be parents? Sure, parenting a special needs child is difficult, but parenting ANY child is difficult. If these people didn't realize that, they had no business being parents. And I was just calling it as I saw it.

Didn't you know you can ONLY make comments about parents/parenting/discipline/having public pools/kids walking to school/music/education/video games/Target/the price of diapers/the environmental risk of diapers/pretty much anything that has to do with a child in any manner UNLESS YOU'RE A PARENT?

Of course. Good to know, though, that having just one child is enough to make someone an expert on parenting in general!

Oh, but it goes further than that...in this case, I have to be a parent of a special needs child in order to have an opinion!

And when I was a teacher, I couldn't make comments about my students b/c I didn't have kids of my own. Anything they can do to raise their shields from your arrow of TRUTH. Stop confusing these people with the harsh reality and they will leave you alone. Ha!

It's not inconceivable at all. It's just the biggest taboo that exists on this earth. It's probably easier to say one's a pedophile than it is to say "I'm a parent and I made a terrible mistake. I can't stand it. I'm going to put my 8-year-old up for adoption".

Sorry you're going through it, Karyn. They're blaming the messenger...

I have had parents that have not made mistakes but in order to get a child who has a mental illness help they have had to finally say enough is enough I cannot do this anymore and allow the state to take over custody.

Often these children were one of two or three children and the parent had to worry about the safety of other children in the home. They were not in any way saying they made a mistake having a child in the first place though.

I can never imagine giving up on my children, but then it took me extraordinary measures to get the two earth angels I have here. I lost my first two sons in utero two years apart. When you bury a child you will never understand the pain and loss you could feel. Your heart shatters into a million pieces, yet keeps beating and you wonder how that is possible. If breathing were not automatic you could not possibly have the energy to continue to breathe on your own.

Perhaps the parents of the child that died were increasing the medication per doctors orders or the pharmacy gave them the wrong medicine dose.

I feel it really is hard to know what happened unless one was there at the time it happened as there are always two sides to a story or in this case three only one is now silenced forever and no one will really know for sure what happened.

Remember you should always walk a mile in someones shoes bfore you make a judgement about them, because then you will at least be a mile down the road before they know what you think! (just kidding of course)

I'm a big believer in not rushing to judgement (or at least I try not to).

I have heard more than once of parents medicating healthy children to sedate them for plane flights so they wouldn't cause problems. I can understand the temptation to do that, but it still seems wrong to me.

Isn't that what they do to dogs that have to travel long distances to keep them from barking? The dogs I understand (if there is no choice but to transport them this way), but medicating a healthy child into silence SCREAMS that you are not succeeding as a parent.
I must admit that I tend to be a bit judgemental about certain aspects of parenting because many of the problems I see have the same very simple solution. Mommy and/or Daddy need to admit that they need help. No one has the answers to every question on any topic. Parenting is not an exception. If a parent needs help or a break, he or she should ask for it. If the parents in the original post had done that, their child might still be alive.

One of the people who I've heard talking about doing this, I just found out yesterday, is pregnant with her 3rd child Wonderful!