BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce With Mr Right but still think about Mr Wrong...

Was divorced from Mr Wrong 3 years ago. He was my 1st love and we married at 20. We were married for 4 years before he cheated on me with my best friend of 9 years and broke my heart. We tried to make it work for a bit but couldn't... I couldn't forgive and we were both so angry. The relationship ended very badly!
I then went a little wild. I dated 5 guys over a year period (which I guess isn't too wild).
Then I met Mr Right. At 1st we were just good friends but within 2 months we were very serious. Within 4 months we were living together. He's such a great guy!!! We've now been together for nearly 2 years and I do love him very much. We've even set a wedding date and started planning our future lives together...
The problem is this... EVERYDAY I think about my ex... usually 10+ times a day. Wonder what he's doing now, how things would have been different if we were still together, if he misses me, or if I'm just insane for still thinking about him and when it's going to end.
I don't think if he came back into my life I would take him... I'm to rational for that... I just CAN'T stop thinking about him... HELP ME PLEASE I love the man I'm with now and don't want my past to ruin my future!!!

Posted a reply to same post in 'relationships' thread/forum....

It is normal to think about the past just dont let it run your life. Every time you are having thoughts about your ex you should remind yourself why you left him and how wonderful mr right is and how he loves you and only you.

I am guilty of this. I think we tend to look back on our exes through rose colored glasses. We remember the good parts, and don't think about the bad. When you truly love someone, you can't just shut off your feelings for them, no matter how badly they may have treated you. The only thing that helps me some, is to keep reminding myself WHY he is an "ex". I love the good in him, miss it terribly some days.... but I couldn't live with the bad.

Is it really "love" w/the ex, or passion, sexual attraction, drama, etc.?

Is there a spark w/Mr. Right? I hope you can focus on Mr. Right and nurture all the relationship can offer. I left a Mr. Right go once and regretted it. Could have worked out the issues had I been really honest and open w/myself and him about my relationship needs/doubts/etc.

Best of luck to you!