BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Stupid Reasons For Having Kids

Key question...

Did she tell him she went off the pill?

I'm guessing not.

What a way to start a kid's life off...deception and conniving...what a fabulous legacy for any child!

Elise

My fave, although nobody has actually *said* this to me, but it's been implied:
"The wedding was over and I needed something new to obsess over"

That's why they have to keep having babies. So that as soon as the one kid is not a baby anymore, there's another to replace it.

"You are so good with children"

"You HAVE to have kids" (No, I HAVE to breathe and eat, I don't HAVE to have kids.)

A kid lasts longer than a pet.

You guessed right, Bonsai, she never told him she was off the pill.

Our friendship is not as close as it once was. She knows (no matter how much she denies that she forgot to tell me she was off the pill) that I know, and she must feel sheepish, in the least.

They are making it work, for the sake of their baby, but I feel sad and disappointed in her for having trapped him into this - especially that she knows better! He is a marriage/couple

oops, wasn't finishes...

...marriage/couple therapist, her mother and aunt are therapists, she knows better, and I guess she panicked because she loves him so much AND she's always wanted children.

I know too well how this is all going to end...

Hey Amber,
Welcome, you'll find this to be a congenial, supportive group.

A former colleague of mine, Ralph, father of 5, used to ask "You aren't going to do your duty (raise a family)?" At the time I was 24, it was early in my career and I wanted to make a good impression with this fellow. I had great respect for his surveying knowledge. So I answered his query with " I haven't met the right girl yet" and steered the conversation back to the task we were working on. Fortunately I only worked with this guy on a few occasions. If I had to work with him every day, it could have become a very unpleasant situation.

If I were to meet Ralph today here is how I would answer his "doing your duty" question, now that I am 37, in a committed relationship and sterile!:

I have done my duty by:

1) Always using good birth control
2) Walking to work 2/3 of the time. Walking to the county clerk, county offices, banks and title companies on company errands. All of these offices are within an easy walk of the office I work at, yet my three coworkers and nearly everyone who works for the county, bank or title company will always drive.
3) Not contributing to overpopulation and host of other environmental problems.
4) Never fathering a child as the result of an unwanted pregnancy since I have had a successful vasectomy. Read the link below from the planned parenthood site
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Thank you Mike!!!

Good for you Mike! I admire you and your girlfriend for having the sensibility and intelligence for contributing to making a difference.

We need more people like you if we want positive changes!

I too am a big walker and since seeling my car in 2001, I walk as much as I can (altough the winters in Montreal are very cold!) or take public transport.
I've been sensitizing my boyfriend of 1 1/2 yrs to environmental issues and told him at the beginning of our courtship that if he wanted a relationship with me, that's what I'm about, so take it or leave it! He is a "good student" and open-minded, and we are actually buying a home together in May. He's really made progress! The most beautiful thing he said to me was: "You've added a new dimension to my life". Wow. Now THAT is the best comment a man's ever told me.

I'm also changing my career path. I'm a certified interior designer, who worked in finance for over 8 yrs (yes I now, but circumstances). I decided to stop working in that industry in 2001, since then, I've been lost as to what to do for a career, trying one thing or another, but I've always loved assisting people, making a difference, contributing to positive changes, so now I'm looking for a new challenge in that direction.

That's where I'm at.

PG