BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Just a newbie saying hello :)

Hello Everyone I just wanted to intoduce myself to this forum. I am a married woman ( 6 years to my wonderful husband) and we are pretty sure we are childfree but lateley everyone around me seems to be having babies which has made us think about our choice to be childfree.

We feel that not having a child is the right decision for us but it seems that there is alot of pressure on us to have a baby.

I am 31 and my husband is 32. We knew even when we were dating that we did not want children but its such a taboo subject and I am glad that there is a forum such as this where I can come to discuss this subject.

This forum is great as it promotes disscussion without some of the negativity of other Childfree forums.

Hope

welcome! it is difficult to deal with all the pressure but having been through it(i even went to counseling for a while b/c i thought there was something wrong with me for not wanting children)and finally being honest with myself and others has made me a much stronger person.i have found that when people see how strong and adamant and happy that you are that most people tend to leave me alone. i'm 35 and my husband just turned 37. we're been married for over 8 1/2 years and i have to say that as time goes by our marriage only gets better.i really believe one of the main reasons is b/c we don't have kids and can concentrate more on our relationship. i really like being able to do that.

stay strong and know that there is plenty of support esp. on this site!

indigo

Welcome to the board! Just remember, you are the only two people who can decide if having a baby is right for you. It's no one else's decision.

Welcome, Hope! I'm very new here myself (signed up about a week ago) and I can already tell you that this is the friendliest place on the planet for the childfree and fencesitters on the subject. I've looked everywhere, and these are the kindest, most realistic folks out there for those who believe parenthood is a choice. I hope your experience here is as pleasant as mine.

Hi there and welcome!

Hi there! We sure have been getting a lot of newbies lately! I think that is awesome :-)
Childfree rocks.

Thankyou for the Welcome, its great to be here and to know that I am not alone in the way that I feel,esspecially now since everyone around me seems to be having babies and it has really got me thinking but deep down in my heart I dont think I am cut out for motherhood. The thought of it fills me with dread. My husband and I have a great marriage and we feel we dont need a child to complete it as we are happy as we are.

I am off now to do some more reading on this site - it is great here!

Welcome! I am fairly new here too. I have been married going on 13 years. I'm 36 years old...no children...on purpose.

The pressure from family and seeing friends and acquantainces start having kids is part of the "trial"....the hardest part. I actually had a nightmare the other week that a pregnant friend of mine called me a dried up old hag b/c I don't have any kids. Very upsetting. But I know that I really don't want kids. The romanticized idea of pregnancy and children is pervasive in this society.

You know in your heart what is right for you. Like when getting married...if you have any doubt, don't do it, because (particularly with children) you can't undo it! Having a baby just because that is what everyone around you is doing is not a good idea. I loathe this idea that having kids is some sort of latest trend....although it seems that people are treating it that way!

Anyway, don't give into the biological clock argument either. There will always be plenty of babies with no homes that need adopting later if you really decide you want to be a mother. I'm sure you'd be a good one too...just the fact that you are rationally weighing this out puts you a step above most!

Cheers!

Hi Hope816. I'm new too. Welcome - Nice to have someplace to vent & share isn't it!

Hello and thankyou girls for your welcomes and your advice. In my heart I think I know deep down I dont want children ever but there is a part of me that is scared I might regret it because that is what some people say.

My Older sister thinks in 20 years time I will regret not having children but I cant go out and have them just in case I regret it

I can think of many reasons why I dont want children and to be honest I cant think of many positives to haing a child...

I have been doing alot of reading on the threads on here and I can really identify with the way alot of you express the way you feel concerning the lack of positives to having children. I was sitting in front of my PC nodding my head in agreement because I can empathise.

I am so glad to have found this forum Thankyou for having me here

Hope