I find it interesting that you immediately speak of religious fundamentalists. You must have really gotten burnt by some of them. There are a wide variety of religious folks out there who truly do spread the love their religion demands, and who try their level best to live in harmony with those who do not believe as they do. Giving them the benefit of the doubt appears to be the least hateful way to traverse, IMO.
Burned would be an understatement...I think frazzled at the stake would be a more appropriate term!
But you're right of course...There are some wonderfully religious and spiritual people out there who truly embody the essence of what they practise. And in fact, their Love and generosity is more evident in how they live their lives, than in what they say.
I have never thought that preaching, for someone, was a manifestation of how they worship. I have always seen the two as quite apart, and a separate issue, because unfortunately, the extreme fundamentalists, who have gone at me hammer and tongs, have not always been very good representatives of the Love and Compassion they claim to spread - let's just say that they didn't practise what they preached!
I am always prepared to give anyone the benefit of the doubt - as long as they give me the benefit of MY doubt!