BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids How Is It Selfish?

Wow greenblue... talk about selfish - that woman sure is!
That woman wanted natural children (vs adopted) to carry on her own genes so much that she brought THREE children with health issues into the world and the rest of us have to foot the bill for her medical expenses!
Why do so many people think their genes are so important that they must be carried on at any/all cost?

What a great discussion today! I have been called selfish, too, as a result of my CF decision. I'm sure most of us who post on this forum do so because we sought out like-minded individuals, and NOT because our friends and loved ones completely understood and supported our decisions...anyway, here's what Webster's says "selfish" means:
"devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."
I think I would be a selfish parent, in that I have many other interests that I'd like to pursue: many friends and family members that I am always around to support, my job that I love and work hard to succeed at, my obsession with physical fitness that has lead to un unofficial volunteer job encouraging and helping my friends, co workers, etc. lead a healthy lifestyle; I have pets that love and need my attention, ETC, ETC. Therefore, I'm not having children because I simply don't think I could give them the attention and nurturing they'd need to have an ideal life. WOW, I'm pretty sure the DICTIONARY's definition of selfish doesn't apply to me at all. If someone else's does, that's just too bad!

Yeah, seems like "intellegent" and "realistic" apply more than "selfish" to most CF decisions.

Speaking of the breeder's drain on society. I know this isn't PC, but why is it the more kids/drains on society one produces the less taxes they pay? My sister w/3 kids is getting another KILLER tax refund. I know the kids shouldn't be punished, but why are all the rest of us subsidising other's over-breeding? I wouldn't be so irritated about them getting deductions for up to two or even three kids, but there are a lot of breeders out there having way more. It's tax time and I just had to vent : )

I completely agree, Nosy. My husband and I recently did our taxes and we owe both federal and state taxes! I have no problem doing my part, but I also think there should be some reward tax-wise for not having children. Compared to a couple with two, three, four kids, my husband and I are using far fewer services. Why shouldn't we be rewarded for that??

I agree with you guys--it does seem backwards that those of us who take less from the system pay more into it. I am happy to pay more taxes to those IN NEED. What irks me are the families making big bucks but who get my tax dollars for procreating. There should be something in place where the refunds go to those who make under 30k, or who adopt children.

No worries tubby3pug. I agree with you. The press and the public pay way to much attention to the rich and famous and many are not deserving of such attention. I agree also that such attention takes us away from the real issues that we should be concerned with.

I just was trying to highlight the part about being called selfish.

Why, in the name of all that is decent, is medicaid paying fo this woman's fertility procedures?

I must admit that this is a sore topic for me. Australia introduced a $5,000 "Baby Bonus" to encourage more people to procreate even having a slogan "Have one for mum, one for dad and one for the country". Sickening on many levels. Anyway, the reason that this really grates on me is that we're in the midst of a horrific water crisis and infrastructure crisis, especially where we live. At the moment South East Queensland has too many people for the water that we have and yet we're encouraging people to breed. And they are. Birth rates are soaring, there's an increase in the number of single mothers and as an added bonus, they've found that more drug-dependant babies are being born, then abandoned to their grandparents.

The thing that really gets to me, is that the parents receiving the bonus are, in general, buying "stuff" (think TVs, high end appliances) then they winge because interest rates are going up and they have a "young family to support". Here's an idea - don't buy what you can't afford and think before you breed. Nobody says that though, instead the whole focus is on how hard it is for parents.

I'm sorry if this sounds like a bit of a rant, and I am about to get off the soap-box, but it frustrates me.

A little of both. I was being sarcastic because it seems like there are a lot of people who feel like it is their right to have grandchildren. Serious for the same reason.

I agree. I also have no problem paying taxes for social services for those who need them. I personally think there is merit in a flat tax based on a percentage of income, with no benefit for extra children, etc. I'd like to believe that by evening the playing field in that respect, we'd have the resources to finance some form of national health care so everyone benefits.