BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids New Member

I just wanted to say thanks for having this site. My husband and I do not wish to have children and, in the town we live in, it is not a common thing. I sometimes feel that people think we are crazy not to want children. All of our friends are now having children and lives are changing. Neither one of us dislike children by any means, but we just like how our lives are right now. My husband is an only child, so we also have his mother wanting grandchildren and bringing it up here and there. The people we know and hang out with are now having children and shying away from us like we have a disease or something. I know that I shouldn't care what other people think, but I am starting to feel that I am not normal by not wanting children. Anyone who would like to give me some input is welcome. Thanks.

Welcome! You will feel right at home here!

Thanks! I am already feeling a little better reading all of the posts here.

Hang in there! I don't live in a small town, however it is hardly progressive. I run into women my age (32) with teens all the time and it is pretty acceptable to have a kid young here. I often feel like an outsider.

There is nothing abnormal about us. I wonder how many women, had they really thought about it, or if they were not afraid to be different, would make the same choice we have? My guess is quite a few. Our ability to be true to ourselves is rare. Though I have my moments where I wish I was like everyone else so I could fit in, most of the time I am proud to be independant and doing what I believe--not what society says I should!!

I am lucky, I think, because I am a bit of a loner. I am not often looking to hang out all the time with other people. I would, however, love to find a few good friends who I can relate to. I have found this to be very challenging. I am going to try the No Kidding! group in our area to try and meet likeminded people. If you live close to a bigger city, that may be something to look into.

Hey Chaco,

I join you in welcoming Smalltowngirl!

Try No Kidding, and also try meetup.com. The childfree Meetup I started last summer through meetup.com is total blast. We're in exurban Boston and have managed to get 60 members in 6 months!

See the URLs in my signature to check out CF meetups (or just sign up for free and put yourself on an "alert list" --- i.e., a statement of "I'm interested if a new CF meetup starts". Alternately, anyone who's interested in starting a meetup themselves can find new members through these alerts.

Cheers

Elise

SmallTownGirl> Welcome (I'm from Ohio too, by the way...Columbus. Where are you from??)

I married into the military. And this is a community that is brutal on you if you don't have kids. People treat me like I have two heads because I don't plan to ever have children. And of course, my husband and I get BINGO'd a lot.

Fortunately, I found the right people to associate with...people who don't think for one minute that a woman's only destiny is to bear children. A few of them are even childfree, and the ones who aren't have a lot of other interests besides their children. So I got lucky, but it took a really long time to meet my friends.

When I first got here, I was criticized constantly and told that I wasn't a real woman. I just avoid those people now. They are narrow-minded, and not worth my time.

"People treat me like I have two heads because I don't plan to ever have children. And of course, my husband and I get BINGO'd a lot."

Me too, but that's unfortunately the nature of the "beast" that not wanting kids has become for me...hey Karyn, what does BINGO'd mean? I keep seeing that and I'm new here, too.

Small Town Girl--welcome! You're in good, fun, CF company!!

I live in Ashland. It is right off of 71 about an hour to an hour and 15 from Columbus. It seems that everyone in this town have kids. It is a great place to raise a family. I was raised here too. I have 3 younger sisters and my youngest sister was born when I was in high school. (My mom was 36, she had me when she was 20) I have first hand experience with newborns and stuff and I saw how hard my mom worked. I just know that I don't want that responsibility. My friends and family always say that I will "change my mind," but I can't see that happening. My husband is on the same page as me and we have a great marriage. I haven't been too criticized yet because I am 27 and everone says that I have lots of time. I don't know why they can't accept the fact that we don't want children. Even my coworkers bring it up, which annoys me. I am so excited to have found this group. Thanks for all of the support!

Someone created a BINGO card composed of common ways people verbally badger the childfree. I'm pretty sure I've heard all of them.

There are a couple of examples here --BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Those bingo cards are fantastic!! Thanks for the link to the site. I've printed them both out as well as some of the lines. What a great site!

By the way - Welcome Small Town Girl!!!