BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage I lied

I realise that I posted in the money discussion here and said that money wasn't an issue in my marriage. I have found out that isn't true, I just didn't realise how some issues were tied together.

We have had a rough time of it in our lives over the last three years and frankly, it's taken it's toll on us as a couple and as individuals.

I have to face the fact that my experience has left me with some issues. I worry endlessly about loosing what we have and not achieving goals. I realise that my anxiety is creating some control issues.

I need to deal with the anxiety I have concerning security. I had no idea how it was effecting my marriage until my husband and I began evaluating our finances and discussing other matters.

Money issues create more stress in a mattiage than any other situation, even more so than infidelity.

Money was the only reason my husband and I have ever had a fight in our entire marriage. It took us time but we resolved our financial problems, little by little. I can't live with debt and neither can he.

Worrying about money will take it's toll. The only thng to do is to take control together and try to come up with a plan that will make you solvent and secure. You can do it.

I am not sure there is enough money for me to never worry. I fear job loss, disaster and the like. We have money left after we pay bills, we have a total of $6,400 in debt and we have a finacial plan that gets us into a home.

I am hoping that as we reach small goals and things steadily improve that my worries lessen.

I used to worry all the time and even when our careers started going well, I used to be afraid of spending anything.

You'll start feeling better as soon as your goals become met one by one.

JUst remember to always talk openly about your bills and your goals.

You're in great shape!

We're 52 and 63 and don't have a lot, but we don't owe anybody anything and have health insurance (a large part of why we don't have a lot--hee-hee!), so we're happy.

As soon as my husband gave me control over all our money, we stopped having any problems!

Seriously, though, if you can pay your bills and have something left over, you're in super shape. Put a little away each month, and be happy!

The fact that we are progressing and are ok financially and I am still panicking is the problem. I don't really know how to get to a point of feeling secure.