BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Question about "biological clock"

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced the feelings I have been experiencing...

I am 32 and have known for years that I did not want to have kids. I like teens, but don't feel comfortable or interested in kids under 12.

I always thought that I had no biological clock. Over the last few months, it seems the clock might have surfaced. Each month, at the end of my period, I become emotional and have a desire--not to have kids--but to WANT to have kids. This feeling lasts for one day. The next day I am back to my normal self, happy with who i am and where my life is heading.

Is this a normal biological/hormonal occurance? Has anyone else felt like this? At first i thought that maybe i was changing my mind (after all, everyone kept telling me i would ) but I really have zero interest in having my own child.

I've heard that that's a common hormonal thing. That's the day I spend feeling insecure about not being married.

Julie

I think that it is perfectly normal. Although you don't want kids, time is running out and none of us are getting an younger. There has got to be some fear in all of us in that regard...

I think what scares us is the impending loss of choice. Up until a certain point there has always been the opportunity to change our mind, if we wanted. As we get older our body makes the choice for us.

I think it's a hormonal thing. I'm 33 and have noticed in the past year that, the week before my period, I start worrying that my parents will be angry and disappointed in me for not wanting any. It's like I'm trying to will myself to have them. It's not that I want kids; in fact, I notice I really can't stand being around kids, especialy babies and toddlers. It's a guilt thing, I guess. But then my period passes and I feel fine again.

It kind of scares me. I've examined my life and feel like the rational path for me is the childfree one, so why do these hormones fluctuate the way they do?

Hi, Chaco!
The same thing happens to me each and every month. My husband has gotten in the habit of writing "Baby Rabies- working late" on our calendar. Gotta love those hormones!

Every once in a while I have that feeling of wanting to want kids (not necessarily tied to my period, usually when one of my friends gets pregnant)...but I tell myself to wait a day or two and see how I feel then...and the feeling always passes.

When I was trying to make up my mind on the whole kids issue, I spent a lot of time wishing I could be like most people and want kids. It would have made things a lot easier for me and my husband (he did want kids). Even if you know it's the right path for you, it's sometimes hard to be the odd one out.

But when I feel like that I come over here and read some posts, and usually feel much better!

I take my BC pills without the inactive pills, just move on to the next pack, therefore I don't have periods! (This is with my gyno's support). So I never have those brief baby twinges. I don't think I would anyway, every time I see a family with kids, I'm relieved I don't have that kind of responsibility and worry. I enjoy my freedom!

Cindy

I feel very relieved reading everyone's posts. I have always gone my own way regardless of societal expectations-but this was the first time I felt so alone! It is so nice to know that I am not!

OMG thank you for posting this. I thought I was the only one who got the monthly twinge now that I am in my midthirties... it does go away after a day or so but my CF self is just ashamed of it! I think Moe is absolutely right- it's about the impending loss of the choice, even though I never intended to *use* that choice.