i really need help. a few years ago, we had to buy condoms because of a medical treatment i was going through. well, friday, my husband was driving my car, and he found one of the condoms stuck between the passenger seat and the console. i have no idea how it got there or when it got there. he thinks i've cheated on him now. i've never been with another man except my husband, i will never be with another man except my husband, i don't want to be with another man except my husband.
but i can't convince him of this because i have no explanation for why the condom was in my car. the only thing i can think of is that i must have gotten something out of the nightstand, and the condom was mixed in with it. but that seems so out of reach even to me.
if i had found it, i would be suspicious too. so i don't blame him for thinking this. but i haven't done anything. and he doesn't believe me at all. the worst part is he said he doesn't care either. that really bothers me too.
how can i ever gain his trust again? i don't understand how this happened, and i don't know what to do anymore. he doesn't want me to touch him. he doesn't want to be around me. when we were at the gym, i glanced over at him, and he was looking at me like i was the biggest wh888 in the place. i could tell he felt that way.
there's nothing i can do. i can't admit anything because there's nothing to admit. nothing. if there were, i would tell him. i know it sounds so implausible, but i really don't have a clue how it got there or how long it's been there or why it was there. but he doesn't believe me. and like i said, i wouldn't believe me either.
i'm so worried that our marriage is over. and it's because of something that never happened, but that he thinks did happen. he says he still loves me, but that he doesn't believe me. i don't know if he'll ever trust me. when he looks at me or thinks about it, i know what's goign through his mind. all the things that would be going through my mind if i had been the one to find it.
is there anything we can do? is there anything i can do to convince him? to gain his trust? to make him believe me?
our marriage has survived some rough patches, but i'm terrified it's not going to survive this. and that's what bothers me the most. there's no reason for this. nothing ever happened, but he thinks something did.
i could use all the advice i could get right now. or reassurance. or something. i don't know what. can any of you turn back the clock and let 2007 start over? i keep wishing i had been the one who had found it because i'd probably accept whatever explanation i get. i'm easily swayed. but maybe i wouldn't. i don't know. i do know that i'm hurting right now, and i hate this.