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Hello,
Just wanted to say hi to everybody.

I am a proud childfree 28 y.o. NY female and received my tubal last year on Dec 24. A tubal for xmas! Yay!

I own a business in New York -- I am a political sci/writer and have 2 cats -- I really love them.

I wish you all a great day and am looking forward to getting to know you better.

NYC

Hello, New_York_City,

I came here also recently, and to find this forum was as nice for me, as to see new souls coming.

Enjoy your stay <img src="/images/graemlins/rolling.gif" alt="" />

Thank you. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am also a proud member of the World Childfree Association (WCA)( click here for the WCA web page ).

Guess I was born cf. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Welcome. I look forward to seeing all that you contribute to this forum.

It's nice to meet you, NYC. I'm new here, too, joining last month. I hope you like it here. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hello all,

Other than the fact that I like to work till late at night I can't get any sleep because of the heatwave. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I would like to ask you peepz how you feel about being discriminated on over and over again because you're cf. I respect other people's lifestyle and I have no problems with people who choose to have kids at all. The problem being is that they think that I should fit a certain norm. First of all, I am eager to learn what that norm is. Gimme the manual. I would love to read it. Could someone tell me what the guidelines are? When I say that I don't give a hoot about what others think and that I am entitled to my own opinion when it comes to lifestyle, I am being told to shut up -- as if I have no right to speak because I am cf.

I sometimes don't know how to face those people. I have the right to be cf and I have the right to be proud of my tubal like other people have the right to be proud parents.

What do you do in such situations? Some parents are really nasty and even people who don't have kid yets are a big pain in the butt as they all think that I have to fit the norm. I refuse to fit the norm. Nobody knows what the norm is, I am the center of my own life -- this has NOTHING to do with selfishness!!! -- and I have the right to be who I am.

I know that I am right here, but I sometimes don't know how to deal with those nasty people who are trying to lecture me over and over again. I don't have the right to lecture parents as I don't feel that having kids is wrong. It isn't wrong at all. It's a choice like having pets (I have 2 cats; bf has a cat, dog and horse), joining a sports club, emigrating to New Zealand and so on! Why is this society so child-centered!

I'd advise you to stop being on the defensive, and get into 'attack' mode. In my opinion, there's no-one more selfish than a parent - they've added to the world's problems by bringing in another person who will WANT, WANT, WANT, and use up, what will become, scarce resources. No doubt this new person will also eventually WANT children, WANTING to preserve their selfish gene.

I notice you are the guardian of cats - those cats were already alive when you took them in, and needed a home. (I have a feeling you spayed/castrated your cats too). How many people are prepared to take in foster children or adopt if they WANT children so much? How many are born in poverty and need? That's another reason not to bring more into this world.

This world is already over-populated, (check out VHEMT), and people seem to think 'only' WANTING two children is fair. What they don't seem to understand is the mathematics behind this. Whilst it seems to be ok, it is still actually causing a population explosion, because the parents don't usually die off once the child is born. 2 becomes 4 mouths to feed for a good many years, and often the extra 2 kids will have kids of their own before their parents have died = 8 people alive instead of 2 (assuming each has 'only' 2).

Tell them you're doing your utmost for the planet, for society (hell, who wants screaming brats around anyhow), and you're leaving enough space/resources for their great grandchildren to enjoy rather than having to share the little that will be left in the future.

Attack hunny! And don't be afraid to do it - they may even get the message, if they've any brains at all.

The other thing I note is that most of these people are meat-eaters - you might like to check out meat-eating and global warming. There's more CO2 comes out of factory farms than all the airplanes and cars put together. If they MUST have kids, at least bring them up as vegans with a smaller footprint on earth. You can bet your bottom dollar that they'll WANT to bring those kids up as meat-eaters though. Sadly I can see the demise of earth and all in it unless people wake up. Oh well, not a problem, I've NO kids or grandkids, or selfish gene to worry about in the future :o)

That's my stance on it anyhow.

If I ever decide to "have" children, I would probably adopt. I would adopt a family of children. When I was 12 I had a 16-year-old foster sister who had raised her brother and sisters. Because she and her older brother dropped out of school to raise the little ones, THEY were taken away from their siblings and placed in separate foster homes. It was so hard on her to be separated from the kids (I will never understand why the little ones weren't taken away, too.)

I decided then that if I ever wanted kids (because, at that time I already knew that I didn't want kids) I would adopt a family so that they wouldn't have to be separated.

My stepmom did this, adopted a brother and sister, but they were teens already and really messed up - still are. It's sad and goes to show you what can happen ...

Also, we got a new puppy! I've been debating this all weekend because I was afraid of it being too expensive, or our other dog would feel like he was being replaced, there were a hundred reasons that I was pretty much talking myself out of having a dog. You know what my husband said? He said you either want one or you don't. You can't quantify your reasons for getting a dog. I told him right away YES YOU CAN! Because if we couldn't afford it, or the other dog would be unhappy, then it would be stupid to get a dog. (Luckily the freelance job I'm doing this week will pay for it.)

Anyway, we adopted him from the shelter where we got our other dog. He's a 3-month-old rat terrier. BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

My point about the dog is this - yes, you can quantify why you want a dog. You should have to quantify why you want a child, too. Otherwise, you can go around saying "I want I want I want" and get everything without thinking of the consequences. Because of course I want a new puppy because it's fun, but it's a LOT of work! So, you can't just blindly go and get a puppy! Same thing with a kid.

I still question if this was the right decision - not because it has anything to do with me, but because of our dog. I'm sure he'll be fine, when they met everything went really well. (I tend to over-worry about my pets.) I'll just be sure to give him LOTS of extra love after we get the puppy so he doesn't get sad!

Also, the thing is that if they REALLY don't get along after weeks and weeks, we can always take the puppy back to the shelter. You can't give a kid back.