BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships What was this?

I read a question on a website and i am confused about the answer. It is like this.

A man and woman are in love. The man wanted to have sex but the woman went to a certain extent only. She wanted to have sex after they got married. One day this man got the woman really hot with his acts and had sex with her and she could not resist because she was very excited.

After this the woman accused him that he had raped her. Is this rape?

Did she say no? Sounds like she was a participant the way the question is worded.

I think that he could have been a little more considerate considering that he knew how she felt about it and he should have respected that and stopped knowing that she might regret it afterwards, but as far as calling that rape...not at all. If there was no force involved that is not rape.

This is a very touchy subject. As you have worded it, she sounds like a willing participant, which in my mind is not rape.

But by the sound of things we do not have the full story and who's side of the story was that?

I wouldn't say rape eighter, sounds like she was willing, she could of said no, no is NO

If she didn't say "no" or indicate that she did not want him to touch her sexually, then no, it's not.

I agree with the above posters. If a woman doesn't want to have sex until she gets married but allows a man to get her "all worked up" and continues to complete the act, then there is no rape. If there is no force being used and the woman is not telling him TO STOP, I don't think it would be (or should be)considered a rape. Regardless of how a person may feel afterwards, the most important factors, I believe, are the use of force and telling (repeatedly) the man to stop, and meaning it! Regretting sex after the fact does not make it rape, IMHO.

Trish

The woman could not say no because she ws excited. But she blamed the man for exciting her. She told him that he knew that she was not ready to have sex before marriage. But he manipulated by arousing her. Had he not aroused her, she would not have participated.

She is not thinking or talking about why she got aroused?

I agree with Pinklulu that there really isn't enough information in the story to make a good judgment.

However, it sounds like both parties were behaving badly. I think that 1) if you go against your own better judgment in the heat of the moment (sexually or otherwise), you still need to take responsibility for your actions and 2) if you respect your friends, you shouldn't put them in a situation where you are encouraging them to go against their beliefs in the heat of the moment.

We may lose our ability to WANT to say "no" because we are involved in the moment (sexually or otherwise), but we don't lose our ability to SAY "no."

Julie

Hi everyone! I am pretty much in agreement with what most of you have said. However, there is much to be said about having more information to draw a conclusion. It's not as cut and dry as his using a date rape drug or something like that. She allowed him to use her own body against her. But if she pulled away in the beginning, with a firm "no", he should have respected that. To continue after a woman says no, I think, in some cases is considered rape. But saying, "No! Oh that feels good. No! Oh maybe just a little," is not rape. I agree, she needed to mean it when she said "no".