BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Would you have a child if...

I respect your decision to remain childfree. However, about 95-percent of overpopulation is derived from third-world countries. So having only one child as opposed to ten wouldn't make much of a difference. Also, one of the tasks of being a parent is to teach the child how to practice safe sex or how to say no to peer pressure. If my child fails to listen, then I'd ensure that they learned from their mistakes. Can someone explain to me why the "daunting" task of parenthood is such a big deal? Maybe your life is so difficult that your pain threshold can't handle anymore pressure. Conversely, life would be incredibly boring if no one ever experienced any pain. That's my opinion, though... please tell me if you think I'm wrong.

"If you were wealthy, though, you could afford to care for the baby part-time! You could hire a nanny to work part-time, as well. It's interesting that some of you remain in a middle-class mentality even when you're given a hypothetical, upper-class scenario."

"Middle class mentality" sounds like an insult. If so, I'd like to return the sentiment.

Why would a thinking person create a child with the intention of being a "part-time parent?" I think that's a horrible idea.

My response, which I'd thought was simple and clear, was supposed to indicate that money is not what keeps me from having children. I simply don't want them.

What part of bringing another human being into the world and taking on the responsibility for nuturing it into a healthy, well adjusted adult,is NOT "daunting"??
It is a HUGE responsibility and committment. Your life (and your body) is irrevocably changed forever. For those reasons alone I would say it is a hugely big deal.
I have never heard of one good reason why I should have a child/become a parent. On the other hand.. I can think of at least 100 reasons to remain child free.
Yes I know that some women feel a deep need to have children and get a lot of joy out of their kids... and those are the kind of women who probably should have babies. I'm just not one of those women.
Sure, having lots of money would make some parts of having kids less stressful, but it would not make it any easier.

"'Middle class mentality' sounds like an insult. If so, I'd like to return the sentiment."

If that's an insult, then I just insulted myself! I didn't come on these boards to insult everyone. Instead, I was hoping to create a lively discussion in which everyone could think outside the box.

I'd only be a part-time parent during my child's preschool years. Even if I become wealthy, I'd still work! After all, the point of life is to be committed to your purpose in life. Eventually my child would be prepared to transition into grade school after learning not to demand attention from its mother.

If the mother is constantly enslaved to the child's needs, then the mother won't be able to function as a provider for the child's emotional and physical well-being. She'll be too burned out.

If you�re afraid that you�ll fail as a mother, then you�re afraid that society isn�t adequate enough to positively support childrearing. In that case, I completely agree with you! However, you could easily use your wealth to eradicate the negative influences that society attempts to ingrain into your child�s belief system.

I�m not implying that my child should avoid all social functions, but to avoid functions that degrade the child�s self-esteem. For example, public schools contain the worst influences of which a child could be exposed to. In that case, I�d hire private tutors to avoid drugs and such. I�d definitely let my child become engaged in various hobbies, though.

please tell me if you think I'm wrong.

I think you're wrong.

Yes, the majority of the overpopulation IS caused by third-world countries where birth control is not accessible. However the FOOTPRINT left on the earth's ecosystem by people in the first-world countries is so much bigger...it's staggering.

You don't bring a child into the world with the intention of being a part-time parent. However, it sounds like you really DO want kids. That's fine...but it also sounds like you are trying to cause a ruckas on a childfree board. That's not so fine.

I think this whole post has gone way off topic kind of. The question was: Would you have kids if you had lots of money? Most people said no because they dont want kdis and money is not hte big issue. I said maybe, probably, becuase money is the big issue for me. I would like to say that wanting help in anything childrearing, dog raising, jobs, etc is not a sin and there is nothing wrong with nannies as long as they don replace moms. I also think there is nothing wrong with saying you dont want to give up your cushy life to have kids. My life may not be cushy but I sure love coming home and doing what I want and a baby would change that and even if I was happy being a mom Im sure Id miss having a cushier pre child life, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with saying you dont want kids cause you dont want to change your life style. I do think that frog kiss has a point that motherohood has become this enslavement to kids that it never should be, mom should not be a parents only identity. I think the bottom line is that people make the decision to not have kids for many reasons, money is only one reason. Youve got to remember it was only in the last forty of fifty years that people had any choice in having kids. That is why childfreedom is a threatinging idea, because its a new idea. IT needs to be respected as a relevant life choice and parenthood as a releavnt life choice. Neither choice is bad. moms are not all boring "breeders" and childfree folks arent all snobby yuppies. People just make different choices for all different reasons.

Jezthepuff
You make a good point about the impact of kids in first world countries on the environment, its the kids we have in America that are destroying hte plant because of our over consumption of resources.

Tubby:

Indeed. And I am no better. I try to do my best to conserve and be environmentally concious, but living in our society makes this very difficult. Also, the more money you make, the more you tend to buy. Again, I am no saint in this regard!

SUCH a good point about the carbon footprint!

One of my personal frustrations has been my friends who are environmentally conscious UNTIL they have the kid. Then all their eco-/enviro-/social intentions go out the window. They use disposable everything, animal tested products, buy/drive ginormous vehicles and in general, consume, consume, consume.



True, but... I am fortunate enough to be able to "put my money where my mouth is" in a lot of cases. I shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, etc. where the prices are not nec. the lowest because of the social/environmental policies of those stores. I can affort to NOT shop at WalMart because of their policies. I drive a Prius and DH drives an E-85 flex fuel truck. And even though we have all the gizmos and creature comforts, we try to balance those with other conservation efforts, energy usage, which companies get our money, etc.