BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image I need help!!

LTEC, I have said this recently and will say it again. The one thing you think you are in control of is the very thing that is out of control.
Why would you rely on your mother to send you somewhere? Is that not giving control of your body to someone else?

I agree with Cake, that you can never really know what it's like -- living with an eating disorder, or struggling with alcoholism, or losing a child, or being assaulted or suffering on-going abuse --- until you've been there.

We've all been hit with something. I do struggle with an eating disorder, but I don't think that gives my suggestions any more weight or me any more insight. Perhaps Jan (pondlady) doesn't struggle with anorexia, but maybe she's dealt with addiction or grief or something else that gives her insight and wisdom. Good advice can stand alone, independent of who it comes from. Support can - and should - come from all sides.

Laura's taking huge steps to save herself - she's learning to take control of her body and life - and it sounds like the hardest thing she's ever done! I can't imagine being hospitalized and weighed and all the stuff that goes with it...but I think about her every day, and pray for her every night.

Cake, I'm glad you posted your thoughts! Thank you. I believe that you are trying. Too bad getting control over it isn't a one-shot deal, huh? My counseling helped immensely - I lucked out with a counselor that I connected with immediately, who somehow knew how to reach me. Funny - she was bulimic, too!

I have no special insight on eating disorders, but I was the administrator and psychologist at an inpatient drug rehab program for 20 years. My clients used to say that you could not understand an addiction unless you were an addict. I disagree. You don't have to have cancer to treat it.

My addiction was cigarettes....and my clients told me that a cigarette addiction was worse than any other. While I was quitting, I agreed. 17 years later, I still agree.

Any addiction is one of the hardest things there is to get a handle on. People do conquer them daily, so we know it is possible.

To those who wish to find that handle, keep searching. It is there!

While I respect that you are a professional, doesn't mean you know all the right answers. sometimes there are no right answers. all we can do is try our best. i do not rely on my mother, but at the time i was a minor. now i am not but i am in a really intensive college and it's not like i can just pick up and leave.

like i said before, i AM looking for a new therapist. it's really hard when you have had to deal with as many assholes as i have.

And I agree that there are thousands of [censored] therapists out there. I have met many of them. If I had to refer anyone to a therapist right now, I could not name one who I would trust to offer good treatment. But there are some, somewhere, I know.

Oh, I do live with one, but I cannot refer folks to her. It just isn't professional.

You may have have noticed I left the profession. And now you know at least one of the reasons.

Laura, you'll have to post some pictures of your quilt for us!

"Sometimes there are no right answers" - that is very often true. But usually support, encouragement, understanding, and just being there for someone is far more valuable than having the right answers. We all have our own perspectives on life and various issues, all coming from different experiences and backgrounds - sometimes it can be a huge eye-opener to listen to someone else's ideas and viewpoints and realise that you have never thought of something in that particular way before. It can sometimes open up a whole new world, even if it is just an ordinary observation. You never know when someone will hear or read your words and take something valuable from them. One of the reasons I try to be positive

It sounds like I am on of the rare ones, like Laurie, who managed to strike it lucky with a therapist.

She referred to me as a miracle. To begin with, it really didn't mean much. But that didn't stop her from reminding me and teaching me exactly why. And now that word has extra special meaning for me and I get teary thinking about it.

There are a number of other therapists in the hospital and after our sessions, I would talk to other people on my room/ward who were struggling with some sort of issue (there was only one other girl who was struggling with an ed and she left after two weeks of me starting - funny enough, she had June as well and she called me the other day and told me how well she was doing).

Anyway, The others weren't quite as lucky with their therapist. Often, they would just prescribe them anti-depressants to shut them up, rather than trying to deal with the root of the problem. I didn't believe that we were in the same hospital. We couldn't have been. They seemed to rush around, never having enough time, always at a meeting. Whereas June would often say to me and the rest of her patients, "I have a meeting, but you are more important, you are the reason why I am working, so I will continue to talk to you" She would often skip out on her meetings. That didn't make her any less of a therapist. In fact it was nice to know that someone cared that much.

Cake, continue your search. There will be someone out there who will be able to help you through your struggles.

Let us know how you get on. I hope you find someone great.

Laura

I also struck gold when I came across this forum. Everyone has been so supportive and does genuinely care. Each has their own unique view on life and challenges and collectively that equals to a massive power source. It has given me the courage to seek help and continue when I have wanted to give up. Every situation is so very different and what is the right answer for one may not be the right answer for another. As Elle said, the best thing we can do is offer support. To know that someone cares is far more meaningful than hearing the right answers.

Hi, Just thought that I would say a quick g'day.

Life is plodding along nicely at the moment. Everything seems to be sorting itself out. I'm cooking for myself now. Very strange, I haven't cooked in a long time. I'm enjoying life and all that comes my way.

Hope your lives are going just as well.

Just thought that I would share this with you. This was given to me over christmas and now takes pride of place in my flat.
It reminds me to live my life as I should and be happy. It is positive and I love it.