BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image I need help!!

Hi Laura, it's good to hear from you again.

Looks like you are all set for a brand new life. Hurray!

If I remember correctly, you don't have a avatar previously, now you have one too. Very beautiful flowers. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Re-decorating is an excellent idea! I'm sure you'll have such fun doing it, and it will keep you positive about your new self. You deserve to be healthy and happy - keep that thought in your mind. When you feel down and are at risk of reverting, you'll be able to look around at what you've done for yourself in your flat, and the lovely veges you've planted for yourself, and you'll be reminded that you're a new person, you're learning to like and love yourself again, and no matter how bad you feel you have a right to nourish yourself, from your stomach to your soul. <img src="/images/graemlins/kiss.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad you're feeling nervous about leaving the hospital - it's a good sign because it means you care about what you do afterwards. It's also a sign that you're starting to understand that the staff have been helping you over these past weeks, and that you're letting go of the "you versus them" issue. But there must come a time that you do leave and start your life properly. I wish you strength - make sure you keep us posted on your progress!

And you're welcome <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Your new projects sound fabulous! I especially love the recovery quilt idea, and using new kitchen stuff - and the vegetable garden sounds great.

Are you out for good now? A bit of fear and trepidation is normal and even healthy -- you've been through a major life change, and you can't just go back to the way you were!

Don't forget that there's no "there", so don't push yourself to get there. I don't think any of us are exactly where - or who - we want to be. We're always striving to be better, more whole, more fulfilled, healthier.....

Looking forward to hearing about your projects, or anything else you want to share -- good or not-so-good!

Write soon,
Laurie

Good Morning All,

I'M OUT!!!!! For good! Yea, finally! (well sort of yea, i'm still somewhat nervous.

For the first time in a long time, I am going to have to eat a meal on my own. I don't think that I will have too many problems though.

I still have to see my dr once a week and my therapist twice a week and the nutritionist once a week. So i'm not completely free of that, which is good. I can live with that as opposed to 24/7.

Well, I have heaps planned. I have to transform this flat.

Thankyou all for your good wishes

Laura

Welcome back, Laura! Looks like all your hard work has paid off. You certainly have a long way to go, but you know that and you are prepared.

soldier on.

Hey, that's excellent! I'm sure you'll be fine. I hope you treat yourself to food you really love, even if you have to start learning what food that is.

Don't overwhelm yourself with too many plans and new things all at once, but definitely do enjoy yourself and the projects you've got coming up.

Okay, first of all, if you do not have an ed, you don't and won't get it. You can give all the advide that you want, but chances are it won't go anywhere. i myself am bulimic with anoretic tendencies. I can't stand it when people tell me the same bullshit over and over again! think of it this way; it's like when you have kids and your child is misbehaving in the store and someone who has never had a child of their own, tell you what to do about it. it can actually make things worse. And more than that it is not soemthing that someday someone just happens to decide to become. It takes years for an eating disorder to develop to full on "activities" and the like. For most people it's not a choice, it has become a need.

I totally understand where pink is coming from. It's more than a habit or an addiction, it's a lifestyle, literally. It controls/influences EVERYthing you do. advice of a therapist is great, if you can find one. Maybe talk your doctor (if they know you well enough) and see who they recommend. There's a lot of people out there that call themselves pschiatrists and therapists when they have absolutely no right to carry that title. If you have been hospitalized,in treatment, etc. chances are you can get your insurance to help cover these expenses, but it may and probably will take some pushing.

Oh, and a reply to pondlady, karen carpenter died of ipicac misuse, not anorexia.

Please Cake, get some help. I know you probably won't like hearing this but if you do want to live a healthy and happy life you need to make one step. Talk to a doctor. It WILL get easier. I promise you.

About two months ago I made that step and I must admit that it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. However, I am now on the road to recovery and my life has improved dramatically.

Luckily for me we have an excellent health care system in Australia, so I was looked after quite well. I do not know what your situation is like.

I have had to deal with some horrible issues. They have brought up a lot of bad memories. I wanted to quit so badly. I cried in my hospital room for hours. I have learnt that I needed to deal with those issues if I wanted to progress in life and live.

I completely understand what it is like. I am struggling with it as I write this. I still have a long way to go. But the quality of life is far better.

You can hate me or not for writing this. Know that I care what happens to you even though I do not know you. I know the damage it can do. I was literally only a few hours/days from death. I now have a dicky heart and have the bones of a 60/70 yr old. I am at high risk for developing fractures. I have actually shrunk about 1cm. I have other health issues. I'm not in a good state.

I wish you all the best.

Laura

Thankyou All for welcoming me back.

I'm enjoying my projects and am having a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun trying to design a new quilt. I'm designing it one block at a time while I am making it and it really is great to be spontaneous. I love it.

Have fun

Laura

Oh, no worries. I don't hate you. You have your opinion and I respect that. I have told my doctor, psychiatrist, and past therapists (looking for a new one now.) I did want to go to treatment last spring, and I came up with the courage to tell my family and my closest friends. But my mom refused to send me somewhere, and now I have lost my "motivation" if you will. You know how it is.. "when i lose this much more, THEN i'll go" you get there then you say the same thing, again and again.

Believe it or not, i AM trying..